Face It Quinn's Not Coming
by loudmouthgeek
Summary: What was once a one-shot has grown. The immediate aftermath of "On My Own" as told by someone who can't wait seven weeks for some sort of resolution. Unabashedly Faberry. Hope you enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own neither Glee nor any part thereof. No money is being made off of this story and is intended only for entertainment purposes; therefore it falls within the parameters of "Fair Use"**

**A/N: I wrote all of this in about twenty minutes after watch "On My Way" so it's probably really rough, but there it is.**

**Face It. Quinn's not Coming.**

Rachel doesn't want to believe it, but sadly facts are starting to stack up against her faith in her friend. She knows that Quinn was in her heart of hearts is still against them getting married, but she had seemingly accepted that it was going to happen whether she supported them or not. Rachel knows that Quinn was putting her own feelings and concerns aside to be happy for Rachel and Rachel kind of loves her for that.

She also knows that Quinn was doing it strictly for her. The venom in Quinn's voice the other day in the dress shop when Quinn said Finn's name made abundantly clear how Quinn now felt about Finn. To be honest, that really wasn't anything new. All of Quinn's objections to their relationship had always been about Rachel, about how Rachel deserved better, about how Finn wasn't good enough for Rachel. It was never once about Finn.

Finn stood staring at her expectantly. She could feel his eyes on her back. He'd said it was now or never and she'd turned away to text Quinn again. She hadn't been able to turn back to him.

Rachel stood staring at the clock. At 5 o'clock they would lose their spot. After five they would have to wait to get married another day and Kurt's constant comments about waiting and Quinn's disapproval would wear down her resolve or she'd get into another fight with Finn about something. She'd have to ask him what his plans are for after graduation and he still wouldn't have any. It _was_now or never.

At the absolute last second Rachel and Finn go into the hall where the Justice of the Peace was waiting on them. Finn walks down the aisle past the row of empty chairs to stand at the makeshift altar. Burt and Carole follow him and sit in the front row.

Everyone knows that that they should start making their way down the aisle but there's no plan for it and there's no music and no one knows what to do. Everyone looks at everyone else waiting for someone to lead them. Everyone was so used to Rachel doing it but her brain is elsewhere still. Mr. Schuester isn't there. Finally, it's Santana of all people that starts humming. It's Bruno Mars' "Marry You" the song they sang for Burt and Carole's wedding.

Rachel notices and thinks it's tacky that they're recycling a song from another wedding but she can't think of anything else, so she says nothing. Instead she looks back to the door once again hoping against hope to see it open and the last missing member of the group come back to them.

It doesn't happen.

They still didn't have a processional order so Blaine, attempting to take the lead and hoping people will follow, proffers an elbow to Santana thinking to maintain the traditional boy-girl paradigm but Santana just rolls her eyes at him and shoves him slightly in the general direction of Kurt before taking Brittany by the arm and they walk down the aisle together. Next go Mike and Tina followed by Blaine and Kurt. Mercedes pushes Artie's chair and they're followed by Sugar and Rory. Puck throws his arm around Sam's shoulder and they make their way down bro-style.

Hiram and Leroy each offer Rachel an elbow and she accepts both of them. The group switchs songs to "Here Comes the Bride" and the Berry men start to move forward but Rachel doesn't. Rachel's busy being distracted by all the ways that this isn't her dream wedding.

Rachel is an ambitious, career-minded girl, but she is still a girl. More than that, she's a girl who likes to make plans. So, yes, she's thought a lot about what her wedding will be like… and this is just _not_ it in so many ways. There's no band and the music is wrong. They have bouquets but there aren't any other flowers. There are suppose to be pink and white lilies as far as the eye can see. They're inside at the Allen County Courthouse, not outdoors in a park. Her dads are here but her Nana's not. Her dress is pretty but she bought it at a Dressbarn and had it altered by a woman named Theresa. It was supposed to be handmade by Vera Wang or Donna Karin or Kurt Hummell especially for her. The paparazzi are supposed to be camped out a mile or so away on a nearby hill with cartoonishly long lenses just to try to get a blurry photo of her in her dress to sell to the tabloids for obscene amounts of money. And when it's over they aren't going to huge reception with a four tiered cake and an enormous spread of food but rather to the Berry house for finger foods. They aren't going to a beautiful Honeymoon Suite but rather back to their_separate_ houses. They aren't going on a honeymoon to Fiji or Paris or Madrid… they're just going back to school on Monday.

And Quinn's not there.

Quinn's not there.

Quinn's not there.

Quinn Fabray is not fucking there!

Rachel knows something is wrong… well pretty much everything is wrong, but the only thing she really cares about right now is that Quinn isn't there. She knows something is wrong because Quinn promised that she'd be here and she's not here.

A moment after her hesitation, Hiram and Leroy both look at Rachel doing everything they can to keep the smiles from their lips at Rachel's hesitation. They don't want this and now they have hope that Rachel has, at long last, come to her senses and realized what a mistake this is.

Their hopes are dashed a moment later when Rachel plasters on her Superstar smile and nods to each of them. Hiram counts out time softly with the music so that they all proceed forward at once. They've practiced this. Rachel does it automatically without thinking. Instead she's listening for the doors to the hall to open, listens to hear Quinn trying to slip in as quietly as possible without disturbing the goings on, but she knows it's not going to happen, because something is wrong.

But then when they're five paces from the altar, the door does open although not quietly. Rachel knows without looking that it's not Quinn. She doesn't know who it is but she would know if it was Quinn and it wasn't Quinn. She looks back slowly dragging her fathers to a halt.

It was Miss Pillsbury. Her lips were tight and her eyes were downcast. Rachel knew it. Something was wrong. Something had happened to Quinn. Her_damned_ sixth sense was never wrong. It was right when it told her that there was a good person underneath Quinn's bitchy exterior. It was right about Quinn keeping secrets about her baby. It was right about Quinn's ulterior motives for helping with her song last year. It was right about Quinn needing someone to reach out to her at the beginning of this year. It was right when it told her to go after Quinn at Sectionals.

So when her sixth sense had told her to seek out Quinn's advice about Finn's proposal… that means it was right then, too. Which means that Quinn was right.

Rachel looks from Miss Pillsbury to Santana and sees that she knows too. Santana looks to her and nods her head silently. Rachel withdraws her arms from her fathers', hands Leroy her bouquet, and slipps her engagement ring off. She power walks to the altar. Finn offers her a hand up the step but she sticks the ring in his open palm instead. She closes his fist around the diamond and softly says, "I'm sorry."

Without another word or glance, Rachel turns and marches up the aisle trailed quickly by Santana and Brittany while everyone else looks on confused and Finn looks stunned, crushed.

Rachel didn't want to hurt him but it was going to happen now or later and she would apologize once she knows that Quinn will be okay, and once she could wrap her head around the enormity of what was occurring to her. Every time her sixth sense told her anything it was always in relation to Quinn in some way.

When Santana is flying down the streets of Lima en route to the hospital, Rachel, from the back seat says, "Brittany, Santana, do-do you consider each other soulmates? Do you even believe in such a thing?"

"We do," Santana says.

"And we do," Brittany adds.

"Have you ever… have either one of you ever just known when the other needed help or was in distress in some way?"

"Yeah," Santana says simply.

"All the time," Brittany elaborates, "Why?"

"All things considered," Rachel says, "I want to tell you to slow down, Santana, but I can't… Quinn needs me."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own neither Glee nor any part thereof. No money is being made off of this story and is intended only for entertainment purposes; therefore it falls within the parameters of "Fair Use"**

**A/N: I'm so damned easy it's ridiculous. Write a one-shot to deal with feelings the show gives me, three people tell me that I should continue and I do. This probably won't be more than about four chapter and then I seriously am going to get back to Keeping The Creed.**

**Face It, Quinn's Not Coming**

**Chapter 2**

"Quinn, I'm here," Rachel said quietly to herself into her hands, "I know you can't hear me because you're in surgery and I'm out here in the waiting room, but maybe you can feel me. This is as close to you as they'll let me. I just hope I'm close enough and I hope you know that I'm not going anywhere. You need me here and I need you. The hand of God couldn't move me."

"Berry, who are you talking to?" Santana asked. Rachel didn't answer so Santana just shoved her gym bag at her and said, "Here, it's track pants and a t-shirt but you can't sit around in your wedding dress all day. We're probably going to be here for hours."

**X X X X X**

Two hours after Rachel, Brittany, and Santana had arrived Judy Fabray came storming into the hospital, she'd been in Toledo on work business and it had taken her this long to get there because she was scared to death to break the speed limit. Most of the Glee Club had made their way in, everyone except for Finn, Sam, Kurt, and Blaine. Kurt had sent text messages on their behalf to Rachel who had read them but not really paid attention. Rachel's fathers, Mr. Schuester, Miss Pillsbury… and Coach Sylvester, whatever hormone therapy she was on to sustain her pregnancy was really, really doing a number on her. One minute she was the same old scary Coach Sylvester shouting at anyone until she got her way, the next she was a sobbing mess clinging to Mr. Schuester.

Judy saw the students and teachers collected in the waiting room and made a direct path for the girls sitting clustered together. "Santana, honey, please tell me what's going on," Judy implored.

"Quinn's in surgery, that's all they can tell us," Santana said, "I know my dad is in there with her but he's too busy to come out. The nurses won't release details except to family members. Believe me, Coach Sylvester tried."

"Okay," Judy said, "I'll go talk to them now, Santana will you come with me so that you can explain everything I don't understand?"

"Of course," Santana said quickly shifting focus, "Brit, honey, I'll be right back, okay?" Brittany nodded not yet letting go of the death grip she had on Santana's hand. Brittany hadn't said much since they'd gotten to the hospital, since they'd actually found out what happened to Quinn. They'd left the courthouse only knowing that Quinn had been in an accident. It was only after they'd gotten to the hospital that they'd heard that she'd been t-boned on the driver's side while running a stop sign. "Brittany, I'm gonna need this hand back, sweetie. You can come with if you want but what they're gonna say is going to be pretty gruesome sounding." Brittany released her girl's hand reluctantly.

Without looking up, Brittany said, "Rachel, can I hold your hand while Santana's gone."

"Of course you can," Rachel said softly, "and for as long after she comes back as you wish." She shifted over one seat to the one Santana had just vacated. Brittany's hand shoved its way into hers almost immediately and squeezed for dear life, in turn Rachel squeezed back with all of her might.

"I'll be right back, Britt," Santana said as she and Judy departed for the nurses' station.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Brittany spoke up again, "I heard you talking to yourself earlier. Were you praying for Quinn?"

"No," Rachel said, "I was just talking to Quinn."

"Do you think that she can hear you?"

"Probably not," Rachel said, "but my hope is that she can feel me, that she knows that I am nearby when she needs."

"Oh," was all Brittany said softly.

"Brittany, do you think we need to pray for Quinn?"

"Well, I sorta wanted to," she replied, "but I don't really know how. Like my parents aren't religious or anything, so the only time I've been to church is when I sometimes go to mass with San and I don't always pay a lot of attention to anything else when it's me and her."

"It's very easy to do," Rachel said, "If you would like I could start for us and then you could come in and say what you want. Do you want to do that?" Brittany nodded once more. Rachel turned in her seat to face Brittany and Brittany mirrored Rachel. Rachel offered up her free hand which Brittany took.

"Aren't we supposed to be down on our knees?" Brittany asked.

"I believe that's a Catholic practice," Rachel said, "and since neither of us are Catholic I would rather not get down on my knees on the floor of a hospital waiting room with questionable cleanliness. I'd rather we just stayed where we are, bowed our heads, closed our eyes, and prayed." Rachel watched Brittany do just that before she began, "Our Precious Heavenly Father, we come to you today in thanks, Lord. Thank you for life and love, for family and friends, and for our recent success in our creative endeavors. We also want to thank you God for the life of Quinn Fabray who has touched our lives in so many ways. We know that all of us have our time to go but we pray that is not Quinn's time yet, Lord. She was so lost and so broken for so long God and only very recently has she found her path. We pray that Quinn's story is not a tragic one, that she did not come so far only to be cut short by an accident. Brittany?"

"I'm not ready to lose her, God," Brittany said tears running freely down her cheeks, "She's my friend and she's a good person with a good heart, even if she's not always so good at showing it to people. She's dealt with so much in her life, God, and we sang today about what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and if that's true then Quinn has to be the strongest person I know. If she just doesn't die today, then I know she'll be okay eventually so that's what I pray for just for Quinn to not die. Anything else she can handle. And also for Santana's Papi who's in there with her, I pray that he finds everything that is wrong with her and he does whatever has to be done to fix her."

Rachel said, "In Your Name we pray, Lord…"

"Amen," they said together. When Rachel looked up she actually looked around at her friends for the first time since they'd been there and as it turned out, they weren't the only ones praying for Quinn's wellbeing. Sat next to Rachel with one empty seat between her and them were her fathers locked in prayer, like she'd seen them many times before. Across the room, Rory was sat in with The God Squad in a prayer circle and just beyond them was Miss Pillsbury with her hands clasped together so tightly, her forehead resting against them.

Ten minutes later Santana and Judy came walking back to the group and Santana addressed them all. "I don't want to interrupt anyone's prayers, but I have news," Santana said. Instantly all eyes were on her. "First of all, for those that don't know her, this is Judy Fabray, Quinn's mother, please keep her in your prayers as well. She has asked me to explain to everyone what's going on. With that in mind, there is really, really, really good news, some bad news, and some really, really scary news and that's the order I'm giving them out in." Santana stopped and took a deep calming breath before continuing, "The good news is that Quinn is out of any immediate danger of dying." There was a collected sigh of relief from everyone in the waiting room. "She came in with some internal bleeding but they found it and stopped it. Her blood pressure has been strong and steady for over an hour now. That is really, really good news. The less good is that she has fractured left wrist, a dislocated left elbow, and three broken fingers on her left hand and a multitude superficial cuts and scrapes and a lot of bruises." Santana paused to let all that sink in and to take another deep breath. "The, uh, the scary news is that so far they haven't been able to stimulate a nervous response below her waist."

"Oh my God," Artie gasped and all eyes shifted to him immediately.

"You're all looking at Artie," Santana said, "and that's pretty much exactly what it means. She can't feel her legs." There were various gasps and exclamations from around the room. Brittany and Rachel were in tears.

"Do they know the extent of her spinal injury?" Artie asked.

"They're…" Santana was having trouble keeping emotions in check long enough to explain everything. "They're still looking into it. There's no sign of damage to her vertebrae on the x-ray. My Papi, my dad is her surgeon and he's trying to see if there's any nerve damage. If not, then he says there's good a chance that it's s-something called Spinal Shock w-which sounds bad but…" Santana choked on her emotions.

Artie jumped in quickly saying, "It's the best possible cause for her paralysis, or at least the one with the best prognosis because that means it's not permanent. Basically, it means that her nervous system overloaded with pain and shut down. It will come back on its own."

"How long, Artie?" asked Mr. Schuester.

"A month, maybe two," he said.

Rachel said, "So she'll still be able to go to…"

Santana cut her off, "Berry, I swear to God if you say Nationals I will murder you in front of a dozen witnesses and get away with it."

"Fuck Nationals!" Rachel said, "Who gives a _shit_ about Nationals?" Coming from Rachel, this sentiment drew a lot of attention, "I was going to say Yale! She just went through so much and worked so hard to get in. It would crush her if she didn't get to actually go." No one knew how to respond to this, so no one did.

**X X X X X**

After Rachel's outburst Judy excused herself to the ladies room. When she hadn't come back half an hour later, Rachel was the only one who seemed to notice. "I need to get up," she said, "I need to stretch my legs. I've been sitting for hours."

Leroy said, "You want one of us to go with you?"

"No, I'll be fine," she said, "I'm just going to walk up and down the halls for a little bit."

"Okay, honey," Hiram said, "When you get back we'll go get food for everyone."

"All right, Dad," she said drifting off down the hallway in the direction she'd seen Judy go. She went into the closest ladies room she came across and saw no signs of anyone. Further down the hall there was a single occupancy unisex restroom. Rachel knocked on the door and said, "Mrs. Fabray?" No answer. There was a T-junction hallway just another twenty feet past that and the directory gave Rachel a guess as to where Judy Fabray had really gone. She made a right and strode briskly down the hall until she came to the chapel. The small room was empty save Judy sitting in a pew in the front row staring up at the crucifix mounted on the wall. Rachel wasn't sure what to do so she just lingered in the doorway.

"Come in, dear," Judy said, "I know you're back there."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Fabray," Rachel said as she walked into the room, "I didn't mean to disturb your prayer. I just wanted to check that you hadn't gotten lost or were in distress in some way."

"It's fine," Judy said, "I wasn't praying. I haven't prayed in years. Do you want to sit...? I'm sorry honey I don't know you name."

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry. My name is Rachel Berry, Quinn and I are in Glee Club together, and I'd be happy to sit if you'd like me to," she said settling into the pew next to Judy, "And I certainly understand the need to be alone your thoughts. I do it rather frequently myself."

"It wasn't my thoughts I came to deal with. I haven't had a coherent thought since I got that phone call. I came to deal with my emotions," Judy said, "I'm sure you think it's silly me coming in here to cry alone."

"I don't think it's silly, Mrs. Fabray," Rachel said, "Everyone deals with their emotions in their own way. If this is what works best for you, then I think nothing less of you. As long as you understand that you don't have to leave the group, if you don't want to. Everyone in that waiting room loves Quinn and would do anything in their power to help her."

"And I'm very thankful for that. You don't know how much it means to me that you all were there for her when her father and I weren't. Thank you all for keeping her safe for me." At these last words, Rachel winced pinching her eyes shut to fight off tears. "Rachel, honey, what's wrong? What did I say?"

"This is all my fault," Rachel sobbed.

"What? It was an accident. How is it your fault?"

"I was rushing her," Rachel said, "We were running late for... I have this... had this boyfriend, you probably know him, Finn Hudson. We were... we were so stupid. We were going to get married today," Judy's eyes bulged hearing this, "I know, stupid. Quinn said the same thing, but nevertheless she wanted to be supportive friend and she went home to get her bridesmaid dress. She was on her way back and I was texting her to hurry. God, I'm so stupid. I'm so sorry."

"Honey, honey," Judy said wrapping an arm around Rachel, "It's not your fault. It was an accident. You can't carry the guilt for this. Even if you were pestering Quinn, you didn't make her answer her phone. You didn't make her run a stop sign, and you weren't driving that truck." Rachel took a minute or two to compose herself. "So you're her, huh?"

"Her who?"

"The friend who's throwing their life away by getting married out of high school," Judy said adding, "My daughter's words."

"Oh, yes, that's me, although I gave him the ring back right after I heard about the accident," Rachel said, "There was just something in that moment that made me realize that Quinn was right. I can't marry him, not now, at any rate."

"I'm sure Quinn will be very glad to hear that when she walks up," Judy said, "I must say that I'm a little surprised to see that it was a girl friend that Quinn was speaking of."

"Why's that?" Rachel said.

"Something about the way she talked about the situation kind of gave me a certain impression of why Quinn was so invested in stopping it," Judy said.

"What kind impression?" Rachel asked a certain desperation suddenly present in her voice.

Judy smiled at the sweet, red eyed girl and said, "You care for my daughter very much, don't you?"

"Of course," Rachel said emphatically, "We all do. That's why we're all here."

"No-I mean, yes, of course," Judy said, "but I mean _you_ specifically care for my Quinn… like the way Santana cares for Brittany."

Rachel's eyes bulged and her jaw hit the floor momentarily. "Is-is-is that... okay?" The last word came out so softly that if they hadn't been in that tiny empty chapel Judy likely wouldn't have heard it.

"Once upon a time it wouldn't have been," Judy said, "and that time may have been as recent as this morning, but now, staring down the barrel of Quinn being in a wheelchair and maybe missing out on Yale..." Judy shook her head slowly, "It has a way of re-aligning your priorities. Plus, I think a blind person could see that Brittany makes Santana a better person, so why should I discount the same could be true of Quinn?"

Rachel smiled and said, "I do care for Quinn a great deal. I-I might even love her, which is crazy to think about since if this accident hadn't happened, I would be married to Finn right now. How did I ever think that was a good idea?"

"You didn't go through with it," Judy said, "You're here for Quinn now, and while she hasn't said anything to me directly there was just something in the way she talked about you that leads me to believe that she has similar feelings for you as well."

"I hope you're right," Rachel said, "I believe my fathers said something about making a late dinner run. We should probably get back, Mrs. Fabray."

"Rachel, honey, if you're going to be my daughter's girlfriend, then I insist that you call me Judy."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own neither Glee nor any part thereof. No money is being made off of this story and is intended only for entertainment purposes; therefore it falls within the parameters of "Fair Use"**

**A/N: It's kind of remarkable how fast this is writing itself. This chapter is pretty short because of what I'm going to get into next time. It was either going to be a short chapter and regular sized chapter or one long chapter and my weekend is pretty full so here's a short chapter. Hope everyone enjoys.**

**Face It, Quinn's Not Coming**

**Chapter 3**

Rachel's dads, Mr. Schuester, and Miss Pillsbury went to get dinner and came back having seemingly cleaned out the local Chinese takeout place. The hospital waiting room turned into a cafeteria and at least for a little while the extremely somber mood lifted just a little. People ate and for the first time in hours they talked about things other than Quinn and what was going to happen to her. People remembered that they'd just won Regionals and were going to Nationals in Miami this year. In Rachel's mind Regionals seemed like it was a million years ago, something that she only had hazy recollections of, something akin to her fifth birthday party, something that happened long ago rather than eight hours previous.

She thought about everything that had happened between then and now and the one thing she kept coming back to was her and Quinn in the hallway. Quinn in her recently reacquired Cheerios uniform. "How do I look?" Quinn has said. At the time, Rachel's mind had been far away thinking about things related to her ill-conceived wedding and hadn't really thought about it, but now in hindsight it was such an odd thing for Quinn to ask. Quinn never asked anyone how she looked. She knew very well that she was as stunningly, perfectly beautiful as always and yet she asked Rachel. It was like she was asking Rachel something else instead. She was asking if this was okay. She was asking, "Can you still accept me in this uniform? I know that this image of me as a Cheerio is probably a source of anxiety for you because Quinn-as-Cheerio has always been a huge bitch to you with horrible insults and harsh tones and it's only when I'm off the squad that I can remember how to be a decent person to you, but this is something that I really want for myself so can you accept that I can be a Cheerio and still be your friend or whatever we are?"

What really stood out to Rachel was when she'd said, "You were singing for Finn and _only_ for Finn, right?" Even at the time when her brain was so severely preoccupied Rachel had seen that there was something deeper to the question, and while she was processing it Quinn had kept talking. Rachel distinctly remembered not answering the question. She might have nodded her head ever so slightly. She couldn't swear that she didn't but she really hadn't meant to. Her instincts were telling her to drop her gaze to the floor but she was fighting them. That was the reason for any head movement that might have been misinterpreted as a nod and she had wanted to say that her mind hadn't really been on Finn at all during the song, but rather they'd been on winning and going to Nationals and getting into NYADA and spending the next four years being an hour and a half drive from Yale and weekend visits and Christmas in New York. She wanted to say all that but then Quinn had said that she wanted to support Rachel and be there at the wedding and she just got deliriously happy because everything coming together perfectly, because there was no way she could get married without Quinn there… none, no way in hell, and that other train of thought had gotten derailed entirely.

When Team Quinn had finished all they could take of the food, the rest was offered around to the nurses and staff of the hospital. Orderlies brought around two rather large trash cans and the group cleared up the waiting area.

No sooner had they finished than a tall dark haired woman whom Rachel didn't know but for her remarkable resemblance to Lucy Lawless came to the waiting room. She didn't have a hospital ID badge so she wasn't there to tell them about Quinn. Several others who seemingly didn't recognize her looked at her expectantly as well. The silence was broken a moment later by Puck who said, "Hey, Mrs. A."

"Hello, Puck," she responded, "Artie, hon, it's getting late. We need to get you home." Artie nodded. She turned her attention to Judy and said, "Mrs. Fabray, I'm Amy Abrams, I'm _so_ sorry to hear about what happened to your daughter."

"Thank you, Amy, and please call me Judy," she said.

"Okay, Judy, I hope you don't mind but my son told me that Quinn's probably going to be in a chair at least for a little while," Amy pulled a business card out of her purse and extended it to Judy. "I wanted to give you this. It's my husband's phone number. He works for the local chapter of the ADA."

Judy took the card without looking at it. "What is the ADA?"

"It's the Americans with Disabilities Association," Amy said, "They help people and families get set up with all of the equipment they need to accommodate their disabilities."

"Oh dear lord, I hadn't even thought about all of that," Judy sighed.

"And right now you don't need to," Amy said reassuringly, "Right now, just focus on Quinn and in a few days when you know for sure what her prognosis is then we can start to worry about the logistics. My cell phone number is on the back. I know that you… that it's just you and Quinn, so if you need someone to talk to, someone who has been there, don't hesitate, Judy."

"Thank you, Amy," Judy said, "You have no idea how much this means."

Amy and Artie departed a couple minutes later. Shortly thereafter, Joe said he needed to get home as well and Mercedes was his ride so they left. Sugar and Rory left shortly behind them. Rory said he'd tell Brittany's folks not to wait up and bring her some clothes in the morning before church. Mike, Tina, and Puck all left together as well. The teachers departed next. Finally shortly after midnight, the Berry Men tried to coax Rachel to come home with them and get some sleep. She very politely but very firmly declined saying that she wouldn't leave until Quinn was out of the OR and they knew precisely what her situation was and that going home now would be pointless at any rate since she was certainly not going to get any sleep. Years of dealing with Rachel when she was like this had taught them that arguing with her was pointless, so they left with promises to return in the morning with breakfast and a change of clothes for her as well.

And so they were four, Judy, Rachel, Santana, and Brittany. At some point that neither of them could remember Judy and Rachel had joined hands, they sat silently staring out at the other side of the room thoughts racing in a million different directions. Brittany, meanwhile, had sprawled out over three chairs her head resting in Santana's lap. Santana rubbed her left hand over Brittany's stomach through her t-shirt while her right hand gently stroked Brittany's hair.

At a little after two in the morning, the glass door to the waiting room opened once more and in strode Santana's father. Brittany had fallen asleep at some point and Santana didn't want to disturb her so she just said, "Papi."

"Hello, mija," he responded to her with a tired smile, "Judy," he said with an extended hand.

Judy stood to meet him but didn't let go of Rachel so she stood as well, "Armando," Judy said, "how's my baby?"

"In the scheme of things," he said, "her situation could be much worse. From what we can tell right now, Quinn's a lucky girl. There doesn't appear to be any damage to her spine so her paralysis is most likely temporary. Her BP's stable so it would appear that she's not bleeding internally anymore. The only thing we don't know and won't know until she wakes up is her neurological state. There's no evidence of trauma to the head or to the brain but Quinn did lose quite a lot of blood before we got her patched up and that can lead to complications."

"What kind of complications?" Rachel blurted out before clapping her hand over her mouth. Armando glanced at her and then back to Judy who just nodded for him to answer her.

"Well, the very worst case scenario is that it could have caused a stroke, but if she was going to have one she would have already before we restored normal pressure and if she did have one, it was a minor one. She still has nervous reactions in both sides of her upper extremities. I'm not a neurologist but I'd say that it's extremely unlikely that you have to worry about that. Unfortunately, I cannot rule out the possibility of brain damage since that is a possibility with any interruption of oxygen flow to the brain. The most likely effect is going to be memory loss. She most likely won't remember the accident and possibly several minutes before that as well. Beyond that we just have to wait on her."

"Any idea when that will be?" Judy asked.

"It's impossible to say," Armando said, "She'll be under the effects of the anesthesia for another fifteen to twenty minutes. After that, it's just on her to wake up; it could be a matter of minutes or a matter of days or even weeks."

"When can we see her?" Judy asked.

"It'll be just a few minutes," he said, "They're moving her to recovery right now then we can let two of you back at a time, hospital policy."

"Thank you, Armando," Judy said, "For everything you've done today."

"You're very welcome," he responded, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go home and take a proper show and catch a couple hours of sleep. Don't worry, Dr. Lawrence is on the premises, he's a very capable surgeon should she have a change in status and I'll be back at eight to introduce you to Dr. O'Malley, her neurologist. Santana, I assume you're staying?"

"Going exactly nowhere," Santana said.

"Alright," he said, "I'll grab your overnight bag while I'm at the house."

"Gracias, papa." When he was gone, she said, "So since when is Artie's mom Xena?"

"Since always," Brittany said sleepily, "She makes awesome pancakes and she can do Xena's battle cry."

Beside them Rachel couldn't help but laugh a little at the mental image of Xena, Warrior Princess making pancakes and then launching herself into battle. It was the first time she'd laughed since Regionals almost twelve hours ago… or several lifetimes ago depending how one looked at it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own neither Glee nor any part thereof. No money is being made off of this story and is intended only for entertainment purposes; therefore it falls within the parameters of "Fair Use"**

**A/N: Thanks for all the feedback on this story. It really does help keep me motivated. Hope everyone's still enjoying. There should be two more chapters after this one, I think.**

**Face It, Quinn's Not Coming**

**Chapter 4**

"I need to prepare you for what you're about to see." Rachel and Judy were stood outside Quinn's recovery room with a nurse named Miranda who was going over everything with them. "The girl you see in there, you may not even recognize initially. Her left hand is in a cast and her left arm is in a sling. She has bruising and swelling on about 30% of her body. It's not unusual for your initial reaction to visceral. If it happens, don't feel bad. Just try to aim for a trash can or the toilet if possible."

Judy and Rachel both nodded and Miranda led them through the door into the recovery. They passed an empty bed before the nurse pulled back a privacy curtain to let them pass. Try as she might, Miranda's words weren't sufficient warning for either of them. Judy gasped and was instantly in tears at the sight of her child lying there in a hospital bed battered and bruised.

Rachel's brain slowly took in the sight of Quinn; her once flawlessly beautiful pale skin was now marred by a thousand small cuts undoubtedly from bits of broken glass. What once was uniformly pale pink skin was now covered in black and purple and blue from bruising and what wasn't bruised was a sickly orangish-yellow. Golden blonde hair now had spots where it was stained red and pink from blood. More or less the entire left side of her body was swelled to one degree or another. "Why is she wearing a neck brace?" Rachel asked, "No one said anything about her suffering a neck injury."

"It's just a precaution," Miranda said, "Bruising on her suggests that she may have suffered from whiplash and we didn't want her to aggravate it if she should shift in her sleep." Rachel nodded. "I'll give you ladies some privacy. Just hit the call button if she needs anything."

Both Rachel and Judy stood looking at the broken body of Quinn saying nothing for a long while. Rachel scanned her from top to bottom, taking in every new detail and even though she'd been told not to, she mentally beat herself up for every tiny cut and scratch. Once she made it to Quinn's arm in a sling Rachel could feel her heart beating in her throat. She'd felt nauseous from the moment she'd seen Quinn but now she could taste the bile in the back of her throat. Her hands were trembling and suddenly she felt like she couldn't breathe. "Judy, I... I can't breathe. I'm gonna die, I can't breathe." Rachel started feeling dizzy and started to fall to the floor. Judy caught her before she fell though and set her gently on the floor instead. She quickly hit the call button and seconds later nurses appeared and assessed the situation.

"What's her name?" one of the nurses asked.

"Rachel," Judy replied quickly.

"Rachel, sweetie, look at me," she said and Rachel complied, "You have to breathe, honey."

"I can't breathe," Rachel replied quickly, "I'm going to die. I'm going to die because I can't breathe."

"You're talking Rachel," she said, "That means you can breathe. Listen to me. You're having a panic attack. You'll be okay in just a few minutes as long as we can get your heart rate to calm down. I need you to breathe with me here, okay? In through the nose, out through the mouth, alright sweetheart?" The nurse, whom Rachel noticed was named Nancy, demonstrated once and then Rachel followed with her the next time around. Ten minutes later Rachel was back to a normal heart rate and Nancy helped her up off the floor and into a nearby chair and almost immediately Rachel started to doze off, exhaustion finally catching up to her at long last. It was 2:30 in the morning so she'd been up for almost twenty straight hours which included Regionals and her almost wedding. "Rachel," Nancy said snapping the girl back to attention, "you can't sleep in the recovery room. I'm sorry, it's hospital policy. We have to be able to clear the room at a moment's notice if Quinn has a change in status. If you're tired you'll have to go back to the waiting room."

"It's okay, dear," Judy said to her, "I'll have them come wake you if Quinn wakes up before you."

"And I'll send Santana back to stay with you," Rachel said. She didn't so much walk back out to the waiting room as she did slide her feet in that general direction.

"Back so soon?" Santana said.

"I started falling asleep and they kicked me out," Rachel said, "You can go back if you wish. I will gladly serve as Brittany's human pillow."

"How's she look?"

"Impossibly adorable, as always," Rachel said.

"Not Brittany, dork. Quinn, how does Quinn look?"

"Oh, right… um, terrible?" Rachel said, "They say she's bruised over 30% of her body. She's got dozens or maybe hundreds of little cuts all over… but she's still Quinn, so of course she still beautiful."

"Britt, honey," Santana whispered gently, "I need up."

"Where going?" she said in a sleepy voice.

"I'm gonna go sit with Quinn and Judy for a little bit," Santana said, "Rachel's gonna take my spot so you can get your beauty sleep, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Brittany said, "Rachel's cuddly. Tell Quinn that I'm here and that I love her, okay?"

"You got it, baby girl," Santana said. Brittany lifted her head off of Santana's lap and she slid out from under her. Rachel quickly took her place so that Brittany could relax once more. She gently ran her fingers through the mess of blonde hair in her lap which made Brittany smile. "Don't be gettin fresh with my girl, Berry. My days of sharing her with the world are over."

"San, chill," Brittany said, "She's just being cuddly. Go be with Quinn. Call us if she wakes up."

"Love you, B," Santana said.

"Love you," Brittany echoed. When Santana had gone Brittany said, "Hey, Rach, our prayers worked. Quinn's not dead."

"That's true," Rachel said not sure that was huge consolation.

"Like I said, anything else she can handle."

**X X X X X**

The next thing Rachel remembered the sun was shining brightly into the waiting room and she was being nudged awake by her Daddy. Rachel winced at the bright sun as she pushed her hair out of her face. Momentarily she realized that she was lying down. Apparently sometime in the night she had shifted to lie down. A mop of blonde hair was splayed across her torso and Rachel could feel the weight of Brittany's head lying on her stomach. Rachel softly cradled the girl's head. She tried to adjust herself back upright without disturbing Brittany but about halfway up, she felt her stir and start sitting up in her own right.

When both girls were back to vertical, Brittany moved to sit next to Rachel, took Rachel's arm, wrapped it around herself, and rested her head on Rachel's shoulder. Leroy thrust a breakfast smoothie in Rachel's direction which she accepted and then held up another and said, "Peach Mango, Brittany?" Brittany nodded, smiled, accepted, and took a long sip. "How's Quinn?"

"She came out of surgery at about 2," Rachel said, "Santana and Judy are with her. Santana was going to call when she woke up." Rachel looked at her phone and found it dead. Not surprising considering the amount of use it got the previous day. "Phone's dead. Brittany did Santana call you?" Rachel felt Brittany's head shaking against her shoulder. "What time is it?" Rachel asked.

"After 8. What time did you get to sleep?"

"Some time around three," Rachel said, "Is Dad coming?"

"He's picking up donuts and coffee," Leroy said, "When he gets here I'll go relieve Santana and Judy so they can come eat. I brought you clothes."

"I'll change after I eat," Rachel said, "Right now I'm still enjoying the mental image of Coach Sylvester's being annoyed by my being in possession of official Cheerios apparel."

The girls were both still enjoying their breakfast when Rory popped in to hand Brittany a WMHS gym bag. "I'm headed to church," he said, "I'll be back by later."

"Rory?" Brittany said just he was about to leave. It was the first time she'd spoken all morning. "When you get there, tell God I said thank you. He'll know what I mean."

The arrival of Hiram Berry coincided with the arrival of Kurt and Sam and after setting all the doughnuts and coffee out, the Berry Men went to relieve Judy and Santana on Quinn Watch. Kurt pulled Rachel aside as he nibbled on a cheese Danish. "How's Finn doing?" Rachel asked, "God, that's such a stupid question. I'm sure he's devastated. Please don't hate me, Kurt. I just couldn't marry him and I know I should have called the whole thing off much sooner, but…"

"Rachel, stop!" Kurt cut her off, "I don't hate you. If you recall, I was one of the most vocal opponents of the union so I can't really fault you for listening to me. Okay, yes, you should have called it off far sooner and stopped moving the date up, but that hardly seems important anymore. You asked how Finn was and that's what I wanted to talk to you about. He's not devastated."

"He's not? But-"

"He's massively in denial about the whole thing," Kurt said, "He keeps telling himself that you gave him the ring to hang onto so that it didn't get lost or damaged in the hospital or to make Quinn feel better because she was so against the wedding. He thinks you two are still engaged."

"We aren't," Rachel said quickly.

"You need to tell him that," Kurt said, "More importantly you need to make him _understand_ that. He said he's going to be here this morning, nominally, to show support to Quinn but really he's going to try to get you to take the ring back."

"Oh God," Rachel groaned.

"Yeah," Kurt said, "You're… as much as I don't want to see him hurt… you're just going to have to crush him and crush him hard, so hard that he understands that it's over. It is over, right?"

"Yes," Rachel said, "If we'd have come to our senses earlier and realized what we were doing then we might have spent the rest of the year together until time to go to New York, but I can't lose focus on my future like that ever again. New York is the dream. New York has always been the dream. Finn was just a schoolgirl fantasy."

"Plus you've got it bad for Quinn," Kurt said.

"Plus that," Rachel said, "Wait… wha… you know what, no. Of course you know. I walked out of my wedding to be at her bedside. I'm certain that the whole Glee Club as well as our parents know or at least suspect."

"How long?" Kurt asked.

"I have no idea," Rachel said, "I've had a lot of time to think about a lot of things in the last fifteen hours but I can't really pinpoint it. I've been sort of drawn to her on one level or another seemingly as long as I've known her, and not just on a 'she's pretty' level because of course she's pretty, but on an 'I want her in my life' level. I mostly dismissed it as just wanting to be her friend because she was popular and could maybe stop me from being harassed so much, but it obviously went far beyond that…"

Rachel trailed off as she saw Finn push through the door to the waiting room. He made his way over to talk to Judy but kept his eyes on Rachel the whole way and kept glancing up at her all while he spoke to her. Judy shook his hand and he soon made his way over to Rachel and Kurt. "Hey Rach," he said, "Can we talk for a minute?"

"I suppose we need to," she said, "but not here. How about we got downstairs to the cafeteria?"

"That sounds good," he said, "I kinda skipped breakfast this morning. I'll go grab us some food and you can come find me, okay?"

"Okay," Rachel said. Finn left and Rachel turned back to Kurt and said, "What am I going to do?"

"If breaking his heart was easy or pleasant, then you never would have gotten to this point."

**X X X X X**

A few minutes later, Rachel had made her way down to the cafeteria. It was sparsely populated but not by anyone they knew. That was precisely what Rachel wanted. Finn was unlikely to fly off the handle in public, but she wouldn't be humiliating him in front of their friends… not again, at any rate. She made her way over to the table quietly. "Hey Rach," Finn said the second he saw her his mouth still full of food, "I wasn't sure if you'd eaten so I got you some breakfast too." He pointed to the plate in front of him on the other side of the table from him, scrambled eggs, bacon, and a muffin.

Rachel rolled her eyes, sighed, and sat down. "Again, Finn?" Rachel asked. "I. Am. _Vegan_. I can't eat any of this."

"Crap," Finn said, "Wait, the muffin-"

"Almost certainly has milk and eggs in it," Rachel said taking the Styrofoam coffee cup, "You haven't put anything in this yet, have you?" Finn shook his head. Rachel grabbed three packets of sugar to make it how she liked it and when she found no non-dairy creamer she opted to just forgo it. She took a sip and it was horrible so she was done with it.

"Rach, I'm sorry about breakfast, but-"

"Don't, Finn," Rachel said, "Just stop, okay? I know why you're here today and I'm not taking the ring back."

"W-w-why?"

"Because," she said with a pause, this had to be done she reminded herself, "I didn't give it to you for safekeeping or to spare Quinn, I gave it to you to call off our engagement. And you're going to ask why again and for so many reasons, not the least of which is because I never should have said yes in the first place. You shouldn't have asked but I shouldn't have said yes. I was being stupid and scared that I had no future and I said yes when I shouldn't have, and you asked for the same reasons because you think that the only future you have is with me and that's not true."

"Okay," Finn said, "okay, so maybe we got engaged for the wrong reasons but that doesn't mean that it has to be a bad thing. We-we don't even have to get married right away. We can wait, years if you want."

"Is that right, because yesterday I seem to remember the words 'now or never' coming out of your mouth. I was very clearly not ready to get married. I could not have made that more obvious to you and yet you were trying to hurry me… like you tried to hurry me into agreeing to marry you in the first place."

"I-I-I'm sorry," he stammered out sounding more like a question than an actual apology.

"I accept your apology, as weak as it actually is, but that doesn't change the fact that you did it," Rachel said. "It doesn't change the fact that, as this breakfast demonstrates, you are completely inconsiderate of my feelings, my wants, and my dreams. That is but one of many reasons why we shouldn't get married and if that were the only reason, it would be enough to call of our engagement."

"What else?"

"What?"

"You said there were other reasons. What are they?" he said.

"What does it matter, Finn?" Rachel said, "You can't change my mind about this."

"I want to talk about this," Finn said, "and you humiliated me yesterday. You owe me."

Rachel glared at him across the table for a long minute before she said, "Fine. I feel like I am losing myself in this relationship. Performing at Regionals was something I needed to increase the likelihood of getting into NYADA," Rachel said.

"And you were amazing," Finn said.

"But not before I let you talk me into not doing it," Rachel countered, "all over some stupid _obviously_ photoshopped picture. It was something I felt that I needed to do in order to secure my future and I let you talk me out of it...actually, no, I let you guilt me out of it. It's not as though you presented a reasoned argument why I shouldn't do it. You just made me feel bad about myself until I caved."

"But Sebastian…"

"Sebastian is not the issue." Rachel quickly interrupted, "If David's suicide attempt hadn't happened would you have dropped the photo issue? Or would you have made me chose between you and my future?" Finn looked like he wanted to answer but no words came out which told Rachel all she needed to know. "Sebastian Smythe is a child playing childish games compared to the cutthroat competition that I will face when I am going on auditions for plays. What's the next thing that I'll have to give up to protect your pride? How long until someone digs up dirt about your father or your brush with vehicular manslaughter or your early arrival problems or any number of other things that you don't want getting out. Would I be expected to purposefully blow an audition? Turn down a star making role? If you hadn't dropped the photo issue, I wouldn't have performed at Regionals and in so doing I'd have thrown away my last chance to impress the Finalist Committee at NYADA. Do you remember sophomore year when you broke up with me to date Brittany and Santana and I sang 'Gives You Hell' in front of the club? That Rachel Berry would be appalled at the decision I made this week. Do you remember the Rachel Berry who sat in the library with you after Nationals last year and told you that I was going to New York at the end of this year and never coming back? That Rachel Berry would be sick at the sight of me. I don't know who I am when I'm with you anymore, Finn, but I know that I don't like her."

"I can be better," Finn said, "Just give me another chance."

"Good," Rachel said, "Be better. Self-improvement is something that we should all strive for, but don't do it for me. Do it for yourself. In fact you need to do a lot of things for yourself, like figure out who you are and what you want from life. For so many years you've lived in the shadow of your father and tried to live up to the image of your father. You defined yourself as Christopher Hudson's son until that was taken from you. Now you want to define yourself as Rachel Berry's husband, and that's not healthy Finn. You can't define your existence by someone else and be in a happy, healthy relationship with them. You have to be your own person first and right now you aren't."

Finn sat silently processing everything she said for a while before he finally said, "I just don't understand why you won't let us work on all of these things together."

Rachel closed her eyes and rested her face in her hands for a minute before looking back up and said, "You're going to make me do this, aren't you? I'm just going to have to crush you into a million little pieces before you'll let this go, aren't I?" Finn, of course, had no idea what she was talking about, but the questions were rhetorical anyway. "Well fine, but when I tell you this remember that I didn't want to. I wanted to let you down gently but you wouldn't let it go. I've been ignoring it for some time now, but the truth is that I have very real, very serious feelings someone else."

"What? Who?"

"Who?" Rachel echoed, "Finn, surely you are not _this_ dense. Who did I delay our wedding for up until the very last moment? Who did I leave you standing at the altar for?"

"No," Finn said, "you can't be serious. You-you're not gay. You've been in love with me for years. I'm what you've always wanted most in the world."

"_Broadway_ is what I've always wanted most in the world, you egomaniacal jerk! I never said I was gay, Finn. I said I have feelings for Quinn. It's entirely possible to have feelings for people of both genders, but who do you think you are to define my sexuality for me? I… no, you know what, I'm done," Rachel said standing abruptly, "I've given more than enough reasons for you to understand why we can't get married. You can either accept it and start to move on, or you can waste your time chasing something that isn't going to happen. I'm sorry to be so blunt and I'm sorry that this hurts but I tried to avoid it. Please respect my wishes." One diva storm out later, Rachel was halfway back up to the floor Quinn was on but she stopped to compose herself. She genuinely hated hurting Finn like that, but it had to be done.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own neither Glee nor any part thereof. No money is being made off of this story and is intended only for entertainment purposes; therefore it falls within the parameters of "Fair Use"**

**A/N: Boy you put old Finn in his place and the reviews just come pouring in. The attention whore in me wants to just go write a series of one shots where people just go off on him for every damn thing. I'm not going to because that's not productive but it's tempting. If you enjoy the Finn bashing I've got a one shot that I wrote called "Actions Have Consequences" that I wrote after "Mash Off" another one called "Doing It Right" that both involve him getting put in his place and there are a couple of incidents of it in "What's Your Fantasy?"**

**In response to some of your comments, I would gladly accept a job writing for Glee but I'm almost certain that I would be fired within a week since every time they had me write a Finchel scene, it would always end with her breaking up with him in various different ways.**

**So unless things start running long there will be one more chapter and then probably a little short epilogue.**

**Face It, Quinn's Not Coming**

**Chapter 5**

"I've never read the works of Vonnegut before, Quinn, but the doctors said reading to you might help bring you around," Rachel said. Five days had passed since the accident and Quinn's condition remained largely unchanged. After 48 hours of observation they had moved her out of Recovery and into an actual patient room. The weekend was gone and everyone had been forced to return to their lives: work, school, homework, music, meals that weren't from the cafeteria or a takeout place… everyone except for Judy Fabray who couldn't stand the idea of leaving Quinn in the hospital alone so she sat with Quinn during the school day joined whenever their schedules would allow by the other Glee parents. For an hour or two at a time she would be joined by The Berrys, Amy Abrams, Armando and Maria Lopez, Carole Hudson-Hummel, and Sue Sylvester, until approximately twenty minutes after school got out at which point Rachel would show up to relieve her.

Rachel had practically moved into the room with Quinn and had spent every night since the accident in the hospital and every night since she was moved out of Recovery with Quinn. The staff had tried to tell her that only family was permitted after visiting hours, but Rachel had dismissed them with a death glare that would have made HBIC Quinn proud. After that she was just offered a blanket and a pillow which she politely declined in favor of her own that she had brought from home.

"Did we miss story time?" asked Brittany walking into Quinn's room, followed as always by Santana. "S, told me you were gonna read Quinn a book about cats and I didn't want to miss it. When I was little story time was always my favorite."

"While you're both welcome to join us," Rachel said, "The book is called Cat's Cradle but I don't think it really has much to do with cats. I'm sorry for the confusion."

"Oh," Brittany said slightly crestfallen. She and Santana settled onto the couch together, making themselves comfortably cuddled together. Brittany finally continued, "That's okay. My mom use to read all kinds of books to me. Is this one good?"

"I can't say personally," Rachel replied, "but Quinn certainly seems quite fond of it as this copy seems quite well used. I guess we'll find out together. Alright, Quinn, Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut, Chapter 1 The Day The World Ended, '_Call me Jonah. My parents did, or nearly did. They called me John_…'"

"…_We Bokononists believe that humanity is organized into teams, teams that do God's Will without ever discovering what they are doing. Such a team is called a karass by Bokonon, and the instrument, the kan-kan, that brought me into my own particular karass was the book I never finished, the book to be titled The Day the World Ended. Chapter 2. Nice, Nice, Very Nice, 'If you find your life tangled up with somebody else's life for no very logical reasons,' writes Bokonon, 'that person may be a member of your karass._'" Rachel stopped reading aloud and a lop-sided grin drew across her face.

"Why'd you stop," Brittany asked.

"And what's with the goofy smirk, Berry? You look touched," Santana said.

"That last passage is highlighted and in the margin Quinn has written 'S, B, Berry' and my name is followed by a question mark which has since been crossed out," Rachel explained.

"Awww," said Brittany.

"Yeah, that's sweet and tooth ache inducing and all," Santana said, "but it's a long book. If you keep stopping we'll never get through it all."

"Very well," Rachel said, "_At another point in The Books of Bokonon_…"

Rachel read on uninterrupted until they reached Chapter 33, An Ungrateful Man, "_Sometimes I wonder if he wasn't born dead. I never met a man who was less interested in the living. Sometimes I think that's the trouble with the world: too many people in high places who are stone-cold dead_."

"Shit, ain't _that_ the truth," Santana said absently.

"Santana, if you keep interrupting we're never going to get through it all," Rachel said. Santana rolled her eyes but said nothing. Rachel read on but they didn't get through it all that night. By about Chapter 65, A Good Time Comes to San Lorenzo, Brittany was having trouble keeping her eyes open and made Rachel promise to wait until the next day to finish the book. They left and Rachel puttered around the room for an hour or so before committing herself to going to bed. After she lay down, Rachel looked at Quinn lying in the bed just beyond arms reach away and said, "I'm sorry, Quinn. I should have listened to you from the start. When Finn proposed, my first instincts were to seek out your advice. I should have known what that meant. You'd tried to talk me out of sleeping with Finn, so I had to have known that you wouldn't tell me it was okay to marry him. If I'd have just listened to you then or any other time along the way, then none of this would have happened. I hope you wake up soon, Quinn." Momentarily, Rachel's eyes bulged at what she'd just said, "Not that I'm trying to rush you," she quickly added, "I-I'll never rush you again so long as I live. I just-I just really need you to come back to me, okay Quinn? Whenever you're ready."

The following afternoon Brittany and Santana took longer to get the hospital and they were significantly more tired looking when they made it in. Apparently Cheerios practice was grueling that day. Coach Sylvester was dialed up to eleven with the torture since she had apparently gone easy on them the day before because of her ridiculous mood swings. Whatever those hormones were coursing through her system, Santana was pretty sure they were going to be the death of them.

Their extended exercise routine coincided well with Rachel having a paper that she needed to finish due next week which she finished writing and would proofread over the weekend. When Brittany and Santana settled in together once more Rachel picked up where they left off the night before and read uninterrupted for two hours until she came to the conclusion, "_If I were a younger man, I would write a history of human stupidity; and I would climb to the top of Mount McCabe and lie down on my back with my history for a pillow; and I would take from the ground some of the blue-white poison that makes statues of men; and I would make a statue of myself, lying on my back, grinning horribly, and thumbing my nose at You Know Who. _The End." Rachel slowly looked up from the book to the bed.

"That was really sad how everyone died," Brittany said, "I think we need to find Quinn a new favorite book."

"Nah, it's all metaphorical, sweets," Santana said, "Criticizing the irresponsibility of scientists who create these horrible weapons of war and don't care who uses them or how. Vonnegut was talking about nukes and biological warfare and stuff. Well, you know, that plus the fairly naked critique of organized religion."

"You're so smart, San," Brittany grinned.

"Not as smart as you," Santana smiled back. She closed her eyes and brushed the tip of her nose up the bridge of Brittany's and Brittany pressed her lips against Santana's briefly. When Santana reopened her eyes she caught Rachel staring at Quinn forlornly. "What's with the sour puss, Berry? Did you-did you think we'd read Q's favorite book and she'd just pop out of her coma?" Rachel just looked down at the floor. "It's…" Santana sighed, "Damn it Berry, stop making me feel bad for you. Look, life isn't a movie, okay? Q's in there somewhere and the reading to her thing? It's cool. All the studies say that she can hear you and if she can hear you then she knows you're here and that you care and shit, but you're not gonna read her a book or sing her a song and have her sit bolt upright and start applauding and declare her undying fucking love or whatever, okay? She's gonna wake up whenever she wakes up and I can't stand to watch you living and dying on everything you do for her hoping that this is the thing that brings her around, okay?" Rachel still said nothing, "Look, just, get your Rachel Berry Determination Mode on, show up tomorrow with another book or a concert to sing secure in the knowledge that she very well might not wake up then either, but you're damn well still going to be back again the next."

**X X X X X**

The next day ( **Day 7**) was Friday and Brittany and Santana were out on a date, as were most of the other couples in Glee Club and so it was that Rachel's companion for the night was Artie. He brought food and the night's entertainment. The Abrams Family pasta salad was delicious and filling without being too heavy and once they were done eating Rachel took the chance to talk with him about something that she'd been thinking about the last couple of days. "When she wakes, I want to be there to help Quinn while she's wheelchair bound. I'm just not sure how best to help," she said, "I don't wish to make her feel like an invalid but neither do I want her to over exert herself and risk causing further injuries. So where's the line?"

"That's not an easy question to answer," Artie said, "especially with Quinn since she's not especially known for letting people help her and especially not with _asking_ for help."

"No, that's definitely true," Rachel said, "She is very willful and strives for independence."

"The best piece of advice I can give you is to just be there for her as a friend _first_ and let her try to do things for herself until she asks for help or until you think, like you said, she's risking hurting herself to do it on her own. When you do wind up doing things for her, don't make a big deal of it and let _her_ make a big deal of it. If you grab a book off of shelf or whatever and she says thank you, just very casually say 'no problem' or 'of course'. With just as little inflection as you can swing."

"Thank you, Artie," Rachel said, "That's very helpful advice. I will endeavor to bear that in mind. Now, are you ready for tonight's reading?"

"Lez do dis," he said.

Rachel opened the book and read, "_Listen: Billy Pilgrim has become unstuck in time_…"

**Day 8**, Saturday saw Rachel sitting with her dads and Judy and reading, "_It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains_."

"Rachel," Hiram said, "What on Earth are you reading?"

Rachel just shrugged and said, "It was on Quinn's shelf."

**Day 9**, Sunday found most of their friends at their various churches so Rachel and Quinn we joined by proud atheist Kurt who brought vegan pizza for lunch and the bittersweet news that Finn was in fact in mourning over the end of their relationship despite the brave face he put on when he came to check on Quinn which admittedly wasn't that often, only a couple of short visits in the last week. "_In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit,_" Rachel read, "_Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort._"

**Day 10**, Monday meant back to school and after Rachel relieved Judy once more. Quinn's neck brace had been removed during the day she was glad to see. Rachel once again busied herself with her homework until her companion for the evening could join her. Around five o'clock Puck arrived with his guitar in hand. "Thank you for being here, Noah," Rachel said.

"Yeah, well, you know," he said, "You girls are like my girls or whatever, so y'know, whatever you need."

"You're so eloquent, Noah," she teased.

"Shut up," he said with a smirk, "Let's do this."

"So Quinn, I need to give my eyes a bit of a break from all the reading and I've been preparing a number of selections for your musical entertainment. Noah has graciously agreed to accompany me on his guitar. Now I must say that this will be something of a challenge for me since hospital rules dictate that I must remain below a certain volume so as not to bother the other patients. I scoffed at the idea that my voice could ever be a bother to anyone, but still rules are rules and I must abide by them if I do not wish to be removed from the premises. So here we go…" Puck strummed out a tune softly and Rachel began to sing…

_Regrets collect like old friends_

_Here to relive your darkest moments_

_I can see no way, I can see no way_

_And all of the ghouls come out to play_

_And every demon wants his pound of flesh_

_But I like to keep some things to myself_

_I like to keep my issues drawn_

_It's always darkest before the dawn_

_And I've been a fool and I've been blind_

_I can never leave the past behind_

_I can see no way, I can see no way_

_I'm always dragging that horse around_

_And our love is pastured such a mournful sound_

_Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground_

_So I like to keep my issues drawn_

_But it's always darkest before the dawn…_

**Day 11**, Tuesday Sam helped Rachel hook her DVD up to the TV in Quinn's room. "Try as I might to keep my voice down, it seems that I got some noise complaints, and I am not yet ready to resume marathon reading so I thought we might just watch some TV, however as you may or may not be aware it's Tuesday and unless you're an NCIS person, which you don't strike me as such, there's really nothing good on Tuesday nights, so Sam has set us up with my DVD player and Artie has supplied a wide variety of DVD box sets, seemingly largely consisting of British TV programs, including a modern retelling of classic Sherlock Holmes stories. I suggest we try this."

**Day 12**, Wednesday and everyone seemed to be doubling down on church attendance right now. Rachel was happy for that because it likely meant that they were praying for Quinn. It also meant that Kurt was back with them and he brought with him The Sound of Music. At about halfway through, Rachel excused herself to the restroom. Kurt paused the movie, looked to Quinn, and said, "I'm not unaware of how selfish and self-centered I can be at times. I usually don't realize it at the time I'm doing it, but it does eventually dawn on me. If the last thing I ever say to you in this lifetime was me belittling the things you've gone through… well, I guess my self-loathing will be well deserved. We all miss you Quinn, but no one more than Rachel. She acts like she has it all together for you but I know her. She's so out of sorts right now. She's not eating right. She doesn't exercise. She doesn't sing. She skips Glee Club and she doesn't sing, Quinn. I think she blames herself for what's happened to you." The sound of the toilet flushing tells him to wrap it up. "I just… really need you to wake up and tell her that it isn't her fault."

**Day 13**, Thursday. "So Trouty told us that he set you up on a DVD player," Santana said not even bothering to say hello when she burst into the room without Brittany for once, "Auntie Tana's got the hook up on PLL Season One."

"What's PLL?" Rachel asked.

"Oh my God, Berry," Santana huffed rolling her eyes, "Come into the 21st century already. You can't be a gay teen, friends with me, and not know what Pretty Little Liars is." Santana never stopped moving and had the first DVD in the player before she finished saying all of that.

"Firstly, I wasn't aware that you and I _were_ friends. Secondly, I'm reasonably certain that I never told you that I was gay since I've never said that to anyone," Rachel said.

"Heh, please, you stormed out of your wedding and broke up with that mountain of mayonnaise you've been nuts over for three years to come camp out for two weeks with Sleeping Beauty here and we're supposed to think, what, you're just friends?" Santana said, "But fine, you're not into labels. I can respect that, but you def fall into the realm of LGBTQ and as I think about it, Q would be a good letter for you since you're Queer for Quinn."

"That's offensive."

"Oh, unclench, Berry it was a joke."

**Day 14**, Saturday, Rachel was awoken promptly at 9am by Brittany, Santana, and her fathers.

"You're leaving here today," Hiram said.

"All day," Leroy said.

"But-"

"No arguing," Brittany said.

"Someone-"

"Someone will be here," Santana said, "Me and Britts are here now. Klaine will be by after lunch to relieve us. Mercedes and Teen Jesus gots the late afternoon shift. Q's mom and Mrs. Abrams this evening, and Puck's doing the overnight thing."

"Everyone has specific instructions to call you if Quinn wakes up while you are out," Leroy said.

"What am I going to do today?" Rachel asked glad to finally complete a sentence.

"First," Hiram said, "your father and I are going to take you out to a nice breakfast. Then we're going to take you home where you are going to take a nice, long hot bath. After that you have ballet at noon and voice lessons after that and you've already missed two weeks in a row. You aren't missing a third. Your late afternoon and early evening are free and you can do with that as you like so long as it doesn't involve coming back here. Then there will be a good hearty, home-cooked meal at home this evening with Kurt and Mercedes and of course us, after which the three of you will do whatever it is that you do on your sleepovers, and baring Quinn's coming to, you will come back here no sooner than 24 hours from now, 9:15 am tomorrow."

Fourteen hours later, Rachel was lying in her bed flanked by her two best friends exhausted from her day but happier than she had been in some time. It had felt good to get back into her routine, to get back into music and performing. She'd been missing Glee Club a lot to go be with Quinn and not participating when she did go. She was exhausted and on the verge of crashing hard, Kurt and Mercedes already had, but something told her that when she woke the next morning she would be hugely reinvigorated. She smiled at her friends and made a mental note to do something to thank them and everyone else who forced herself to take a step back and relax.

**Day 15**, Sunday, "_Alas, the sense of community that a common faith brings to people spelled trouble for me. In time, my religious doings went from the notice of those whom it didn't matter and only amused, to those of whom it did matter – and they were not amused_," Rachel read with a warm smile.

**A/N: So Rachel read (in order) Cat's Cradle and Slaugherhouse-Five both by Kurt Vonnegut, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austin and Seth Grahame-Smith, The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien, and The Life of Pi by Yann Martel, all great books that you should check out if you are not familiar with them. She sang "Shake it Out" by Florence + The Machine.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own neither Glee nor any part thereof. No money is being made off of this story and is intended only for entertainment purposes; therefore it falls within the parameters of "Fair Use"**

**A/N: So this chapter did wind up getting pretty long but I opted not to break it up. Thanks as always to everyone who reads and many thanks to those that review. A couple of you will recognize something you mentioned in reviews contained in this chapter. Now you see why feedback is so important to an author, you can actually wind up contributing to the story. This is the emotional climax of the story. There will be a brief epilogue to follow.**

**Chapter 6**

After her forced exile from the hospital, Rachel and Puck agreed to alternate days on the overnight shift and while Rachel still visited every day she stopped racing to the hospital the moment her last class let out. She began participating in Glee Club again...as well as attending regularly. After school she would head home and practice for half an hour on her own, change into something comfortable and then head to the hospital around 5.

Her fellow Glee Club members had been very accommodating in helping to keep an eye on Quinn. Rachel had very quickly worked out a rotation and everyone but Finn was in. Rachel and Judy were the only ones there every day. Most came every other day for a couple of hours. The newer people that didn't know Quinn all that well, Sugar, Rory, and Joe, showed when someone was needed. Although, they found out quickly that Sugar and Rory couldn't be trusted to watch her together or there wouldn't be much watching going on.

**Day 19** "So admit it Berry, you're feelin the PLL," Santana said, "It's okay, I'm use to being right all the time."

Rachel sighed lightly and said, "It's a decently entertaining distraction from other concerns, and while I'm glad to see the LGBTQ community represented in mainstream entertainment, the fact that the show has gay characters alone isn't reason enough for me to feel compelled to keep up with it, considering my busy extra-curricular schedule. That being said, I'm glad you like it and thanks for helping keep me entertained."

"Whatevs, I saw you grinning like the devil over there," Santana said, "You can keep watching if you want. I've seen 'em all already. I can jump back in wherever." Santana stood and pulled on her Cheerios letterman. "I'm gonna bounce, Pierce Family Night is gonna be over in a few and I needs my B time."

"Can I ask you something?" Rachel said. "Maybe it's not my place, but why don't you like spending time with Brittany's family? Are they not accepting of the two of you or something?"

"Uh, just the opposite actually," Santana said.

"What do you mean?"

"They're one of those weird, ultra-openness families," Santana explained, "I honestly think that I could bang Brittany in front of them and they'd just stand there and like fucking compliment me on my technique and shit. Now that they know about us, I can't deal with that. I mean, I guess I gotta learn to but… not tonight."

"I understand," Rachel replied as she stood to walk Santana out, "My fathers have a tendency to over share, at times. Goodnight, Santana."

"Night, Berry," Santana said and leaned in to give Rachel a hug. Neither of them remembered when they started this. Santana would still deny that it ever happened when they're in the presence of anyone beside Brittany and Quinn, but it had become a habit. "Night, Sleeping Beauty," Santana called to Quinn over Rachel's shoulder.

Santana left and Rachel walked back to Quinn and looked her over. It was funny, besides the removable brace still on her left arm, you could barely even tell from looking that Quinn had been in a horrible car wreck less than a month prior. The neck brace, the arm sling, and the finger splints were long gone. The bruising and swelling were likewise a thing of the past. Her cuts had all healed over with only one noticeable scar above her right eye, and even then you really had to be looking for it to see it. Rachel couldn't help but think of the nickname that Santana had bestowed upon Quinn over the last couple of weeks, Sleeping Beauty. The hopeless romantic in her couldn't stop wondering if the nickname was a sign, wondering if she should just try it. She smiled at Quinn. "It's stupid," Rachel said to herself. She stood there another minute and licked her lips. "It's not going to work."

Rachel turned away from the bed and sat down on the couch and began looking over her homework, double checking… which was actually about the fourth checking. She knew her work was flawless. She was just trying to busy her mind but she kept looking back over to Quinn. "This is ridiculous," she said to the empty room, "I'm not going to be able to get this off my mind until I just try it." She stood again and took the single step between the couch and the bed. "This isn't going to work." She tucked her hair behind her ear, wet her lips again, leaned over, and kissed Quinn gently on the lips. She pulled back, stood up straight, and waited.

Nothing happened, and all her mental coaching didn't prevent her from being disappointed.

**Day 23**, Monday, Rachel had been scheduled to be at the hospital with Tina but she'd had to cancel last minute to continue studying for her Trig mid-term with was seriously kicking her ass. Rachel had said that it was no problem, of course and made a couple of calls to find someone to come sit with her. Twenty minutes later, Joe Hart shuffled his way into Quinn's room with his guitar slung over his back. "Hello, Joe," Rachel said, "Thank you very much for coming on such short notice."

"Yeah, it's no problem," Joe said.

"Is there anything you'd like to do this evening? There's a TV and DVD player, there are books. I see you brought your guitar. We can sing but we have to be…"

"Actually, could we maybe talk a little bit, first?" Joe asked.

"Of course," Rachel said with a smile, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Well…" he started but trailed off, "So when all of this first happened, the accident, and everything, I was on the outside looking in. I didn't know you guys too well. I mostly knew The God Squad, Mercedes, Sam, Quinn, but now I've gotten to know a lot of you and most of you are really cool, so I…"

"Joe, would you like to join The Glee Club?" Rachel asked.

He smiled and said, "I… yeah, I mean I know you guys already won Regionals and stuff. I didn't know if there was a deadline to join up and I was way past it or whatever."

Come by the choir room before school tomorrow and we'll talk to Mr. Schuester together but I don't think that it will be an issue," Rachel said, "but I don't think it will be an issue. You will have to audition, but as long as you aren't completely atrocious you'll get in and I already happen to know you are far from atrocious."

"Okay, sounds good," Joe said, "So Sam and Mercedes have been teaching me a lot about secular music. My parents aren't religious fanatics or anything. They just like what they like and they just so happen to like Christian music."

"To each their own," Rachel said.

"Totally," Joe said, "but I'm finding a lot of stuff that I like. Do you know the song "Times Like These" by The Foo Fighters?"

"I do," Rachel replied.

"I was thinking that I'd do that for my audition," Joe said, "and maybe I could practice tonight and you could give me some pointers."

"I'd be happy to," Rachel said, "Though we have to keep the volume down since I do not wish to be asked to leave. It generally goes against my better instincts to sing quietly."

"Okay," Joe said.

**X X X X X**

"So forgive me if this is impertinent," Joe said, "but can I ask what the deal with you and Quinn is? Because first she didn't want to sing your Valentine's song but then she was kind of parading you around the quad while we were singing. Sam said you didn't like each other much because of that Finn guy, but then you've been here for three weeks with her. So are you guys friends or what?"

Rachel smiled and said, "Firstly, I'd like to compliment you on your use of the word impertinent. A great many of our peers aren't even aware of such a word much less its proper usage. Obviously there are benefits to homeschooling. Now to answer your question, the full depth and breadth of the history of Quinn's and my relationship to one another would require perhaps the most complicated flow chart in recorded history, but as to where we are now, yes we are friends. I value Quinn's friendship over most everyone except my very dearest friends, but that isn't all that we are...or I suppose it would be more accurate to say that's not all I want us to be."

"You want her to be your girlfriend," Joe said.

"I'm...I think I'm in love with," Rachel said, "I don't know how she feels about me."

Joe looked from her to Quinn. He was silent for a moment and said, "One of the first discussions Quinn and I ever had was about homosexuality. We did your valentine and then Santana wanted us to sing to Brittany. You were there for that."

"I remember," Rachel said.

"At that time, I didn't really know how I felt about it because I'd never had to think about it, so we met up to talk and I told them that I'd never known a gay person before. Quinn responded immediately by saying she guaranteed that I had and then fired off this laundry list of things that were considered sinful in biblical times that don't really bother us now and then pointed out that the Bible had no issue with slavery and finished by saying that Jesus never said anything about gay people."

"I guess I'm not seeing your point," Rachel said.

"It sounded like an argument that she'd worked out before," Joe said, "Something that one might give to a possibly intolerant parent or family member."

"So you think that Quinn is...?" Rachel trailed off.

"I don't know," Joe said plainly, "and I don't like to make assumptions about people, but it seems like she's put a lot of thought into reconciling her faith with her acceptance of homosexuality."

"Can I ask how you reconcile yours?" Rachel asked, "I only ask out of curiosity."

"Sure," he said, "You're Jewish, right?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Not really," Joe said, "Someone told me a couple of weeks ago, so do you speak Hebrew?"

"I speak it a little," Rachel said, "I can't read it."

"That's fine, I don't have the Hebrew text with me," he said as he pulled his Bible out of his bag, "Are you familiar with the Book of Ruth?" Rachel shook her head slowly. Joe flipped through it until he came to the book in question. "It tells the story of Naomi, the widowed mother of two sons. Her sons marry women named Orpah and Ruth. The sons both die before either could bear any children so Naomi tells them to go back to their fathers, which is what would typically happen in that situation in that time, and Orpah agrees, but Ruth refuses to leave Naomi. Chapter 1, verse 14 says that "Ruth clung to her." That word, clung, is translated from the Hebrew word dabaq which also appears in Genesis chapter 2, verse 24 which describes Adam's relationship to Eve and God's plan for how all loving relationships should be. When Naomi asks her to leave, Ruth replies, 'Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.' Christians often use this quote in heterosexual wedding vows, so how can it mean anything else? Ruth loved Naomi as Adam loved Eve. The rest of the book tells about how they lived the rest of their lives together. They don't hide their relationship, they aren't treated as abominations. It's a beautiful love story about two women and it's _in_ The Bible. It couldn't be much clearer than that to me."

Periodically throughout Joe's speech, Rachel had to wipe away tears and by the end she was dabbing at her nose as well. "Thank you for sharing that with me, Joe," Rachel said at last, "I may have to look into this epic love story. I'd like to hug you now, if that's okay."

"Of course," he said as they both stood up and met at the foot of Quinn's bed for a warm embrace. After a moment, Joe's phone chirped. "I'm going to have to go," he said checking the message, "My mom's almost here. Are you and Quinn going to be okay here on your own?"

"We will be," Rachel confirmed, "Please tell me your mother isn't texting while driving, because I can't handle the thought of that right now."

"No, it's fine she said she was about to leave Graham's Drug Store a couple of blocks over," Joe said, "I'm going to pray over Quinn before I go, would you like to join me? I promise to keep it Unitarian."

"I'd like that," Rachel said offering up her hands to him.

He took her hands in his and began, "Merciful Father, we love you and we praise you…"

**X X X X X**

"On My Way" she typed out. Her finger lingered over the send button as her thoughts raced. 'On my way to do what?' Quinn thought to herself. 'Be in the wedding and watch as Rachel makes the biggest mistake of her life or to interrupt and possibly lose Rachel's friendship? What's it gonna-'

_Quinn was surrounded by darkness. She had absolutely no idea what was going on. She could swear she was just driving to Rachel's wedding in her car and now she's just standing here...wherever here is since she can't see anything much past an arm's length. Then she heard a voice from above her, "On my way to do what?" It's her own thoughts echoing in her own voice. Quinn tried to answer but no noise came out. She heard footsteps. They might be getting closer. They might be circling her. It's hard to tell. She tried to call out to whoever it is but again no sound._

_Finally a figure cleared the darkness and Quinn looked her over: auburn hair, glasses, chubby, zits. It was Lucy. Suddenly, Quinn realized that there were others, behind her to her right was...well, herself, or at least the sophomore version of herself in her Cheerios uniform, high ponytail and a scowl on her face. Behind her to her left was Rachel but not Rachel as she knew her. No this was Rachel a few years older with her hair done up wearing a fabulous gown and beautiful jewelry, Red Carpet Rachel. Quinn held out a hand to Rachel and mouthed her name, still without sound. "I'm not Rachel," she said._

_"Who am I?" Lucy asked._

_"You're me," Quinn said surprised at the sound of her own voice, "You're Lucy."_

_"No," Lucy replied, "That's just who I look like." Quinn tried to ask her what that meant but again no sounds came out._

_"Who am I?" Cheerleader Quinn asked._

_Quinn turned to face her. "I-I'm guessing you aren't me," she said aloud once more._

_"We're all you," Cheerleader Quinn, "but I'm not you like you're thinking." Again, Quinn tried to follow up and again no words came. Apparently this was the ultimate "speak when spoke to" situation._

_"Who am I?" Not Rachel asked._

_"I-I-I don't know," Quinn said as she turned again, "I don't know what this is."_

_"How did we get here?" Lucy asked._

_"I don't know that either," Quinn said, "Last thing I remember was being in my car driving to your... to Rachel's wedding."_

_"So where are we?" Not Rachel asked._

_Quinn shook her head, "I-"_

_"Shhh," Lucy said._

_"Listen," Cheerleader Quinn said._

_Again voices came from above her, "_BP's dropping. She must be bleeding internally." _In the background she could hear a siren._

_"I'm in an ambulance?" Quinn asked._

_"So where are we?" Not Rachel asked once more._

_"In my mind?" Quinn asked._

_"So then who are we?" Lucy asked._

_"You're all me," Quinn said, "but none of you are me..." She turned in a circle looking at each of them, "...because you're pieces of me?"_

_"We are your broken psyche," Cheerleader Quinn said._

_"Broken?" Quinn asked noting that it was the first time she'd been able to speak without being asked a direct question, "You mean, like from the accident? Do I have brain damage?"_

_"This isn't about the car," Lucy said._

_"This damage was done to you and by you long ago," Cheerleader Quinn said._

_"And the time has come to reconcile it," Not Rachel said._

_"How?" Quinn asked._

_"Answer our question," they said in unison._

_"What question?" Quinn said._

_"Who am I?" They all answered._

_"I don't suppose the answer is as simple as Past," she pointed at Lucy, "Present," she pointed at Cheerleader Quinn, "and future," she pointed at Not Rachel, "is it?"_

_"Is this who you are now?" Cheerleader Quinn asked._

_"Is your future to grow up to be Rachel Berry?" Not Rachel asked._

_"So is it Freudian? ID, Ego, and Superego?" Quinn asked._

_They all shook their heads in synch which was more than a little creepy. "Stop trying to solve the whole puzzle when you don't even know the pieces," Lucy said, "Who am I?"_

_"You're...you're Lucy," Quinn said, "You're the girl I use to be before I was her." She pointed at Cheerleader Quinn._

_"I represent Lucy, but what does Lucy represent to you?" she asked._

_"Shame," Quinn said._

_"No," Lucy said._

_"It's not Lucy that you're ashamed of," said Not Rachel._

_"I'm not ashamed of you, Rachel," Quinn said reflexively._

_"I'm not Rachel," she said, "and you're getting distracted."_

_"Were you ever really ashamed of Lucy?" asked Lucy._

_After thinking about it for a few minutes, Quinn said softly, "No."_

_"How did you feel about Lucy after you became Quinn?" Lucy asked._

_"Afraid," Quinn said, "I was afraid of what people would think if they found out."_

_"So who am I?"_

_"My fear of being honest," Quinn said._

_"And what are you afraid of being honest about?" Lucy asked. Quinn shook her head lightly not answering. She wasn't unable to speak, just to answer._

_"Quinn, who am I?" Not Rachel asked._

_"You look like an older version of Rachel," Quinn said, "Are you my desire to look to the future?"_

_"No," Not Rachel said, "good guess, but no."_

_"Can you give me a hint?" Quinn asked._

_"This image is the one your brain assigned to this part of your psyche," she said, "Analyze it."_

_"Is the fact that you look like Rachel significant?"_

"_Yes," she said._

"_Is the fact that you don't look like my Rachel significant?"_

"_Your Rachel?" Not Rachel echoed._

"_What are you afraid of being honest about?" Lucy asked._

"_That you don't look like eighteen year old Rachel, is that significant?" Quinn corrected._

_Not Rachel opened her mouth but Rachel's voice didn't come out but rather Quinn's own, _"Rachel, you have an amazing life ahead you."_ Quinn just looked at her until she spoke again in Rachel's voice, "Why did you say that?"_

"_Because it's true," Quinn said._

"_How come?" Not Rachel asked._

"_Because y…she's talented and amazing and driven," Quinn responded._

"_So what does this version of Rachel look like to you?"_

"_It's, you're her on the red carpet at some award show. It's Rachel living her dream," Quinn said, "Are you my jealousy, because I really don't think I'm jealous of Rachel anymore. I used to be. That's part of why I was so mean to her."_

"_You're not jealous. What does the image of Rachel achieving her dreams represent to you?" Not Rachel asked._

"_Inevitability?" Quinn said. Not Rachel shook her head. "Success? Achievement?"_

"_You're so close right now, you don't even know it," Not Rachel said, "Just talk it out."_

"_Rachel achieving her dreams means perseverance in the face of adversity. It means never giving up, no matter how much it may hurt," Quinn paused trying to order her thoughts, "It means… being your very best. Wait, you're my self-actualization?"_

"_I knew you could do it," Not Rachel said in Rachel's 'I'm so proud of you' voice._

"_But why is my self-actualization not myself?" Quinn asked._

"_What does Rachel have that you want for yourself?" Not Rachel asked._

"_What are you afraid to be honest about?" Lucy asked._

"_Who am I?" Cheerleader Quinn asked._

_Quinn looked from one piece of her psyche to another and another and her breath started coming short. Not Rachel said, "Quinn you can't hyperventilate here, because you aren't really here. It's all quite literally in your head. You're really in a hospital bed with an oxygen tube in your nose. Listen."_

_Another voice from above, this time Rachel's, _"There was a lot that Billy said that was gibberish to the Tralframadorians, too. They couldn't they couldn't imagine what time looked like to him. Billy had given up on explaining that."

"_She's here. I-I didn't stop the…" Quinn looked at Not Rachel, "Did she marry him?"_

"_I'm a part of you and your brain doesn't possess that knowledge," Not Rachel said._

_Lucy opened her mouth and out came Quinn's voice, _"I'm not going to stand by and watch you ruin your life by marrying Finn Hudson!"

"_What does Rachel have that you want for yourself?" Not Rachel asked._

"_Why did you say that?" Lucy asked._

"_Because I'm a friend," Quinn said, "Marrying him is a mistake."_

"_What were you going to do at the wedding?" Lucy asked._

"_I don't know," Quinn said, "I was still going over it in my mind when the accident happened."_

"_What did you want to do?" Lucy asked._

"_Stop it," Quinn said, "To object."_

"_Why?" Lucy asked._

"_Because I'm her friend," Quinn said._

"_Kurt and Mercedes are her friends. They weren't going to stop the wedding," Lucy said._

"_What does Rachel have that you want for yourself?" Not Rachel asked._

"_Who am I?" Cheerleader Quinn asked._

"_What are you afraid to be honest about?" Lucy asked._

"_ALL RIGHT! ALL THREE OF YOU SHUT UP!" Quinn yelled. "I'm sick of turning to look at you every time you say something. If you're all a part of me, then you have to listen to me. All of you stand together." Not Rachel and Lucy walked to stand on either side of Cheerleader Quinn. She looked at Not Rachel and said, "What Rachel has that I want for myself… more than loving parents or a jaw dropping voice, is just simply that she accepts and loves herself for exactly who she is. She's proud of who she is. That's what I want for me. What stops me from that," she looked to Lucy, "What I'm afraid to be honest about is that I'm gay and that I'm in love with Rachel. I've had feelings for her for a while, but lately it's become more than that." Next she looked to Cheerleader Quinn and said, "And why I'm afraid to be honest about that is because of you. Lucy and Rachel don't represent my shame," Quinn said anger in her voice and tears in her eyes, "because you do. You represent it so well because I am ashamed of who I was and of what I did when I was you."_

_Cheerleader Quinn opened her mouth and out came a flood of things, _"RuPaul! Man Hands! Treasure Trail! Hobbit! Dwarf! Troll! Yentl! Sterilize yourself! You're making my baby nauseous! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

_"SHUT UP!" Quinn barked once again. "I know all of the horrible things I said. I don't need the replay."_

_"Why are you ashamed of me?" Cheerleader Quinn asked._

_"Because the things I did...why would she ever want to be with me after everything I did to her? I'm ashamed of you...of myself because it means I've blown it before I ever had a chance to try."_

_"Why else?" Cheerleader Quinn asked._

_"Because I hurt her so much," Quinn said, "I love her and I hurt her and I can't ever make that right." Quinn buried her face in her hands and cried, cried harder than she could ever remember crying in her lifetime, which for her was saying something._

_After a while she looked back up as she dried her cheeks and hands. The three fragments were gone. In their place, was a single vision of Quinn wearing the same amazing dress that Not Rachel was wearing, her hair also done up. She, like the vision of Rachel, was a few years older but she looked genuinely happy and just as Quinn was about to speak, Not Quinn brought her left hand up to tuck away stray hairs and Quinn caught sight of the huge diamond wedding band on her ring finger. "I'm not going to make you work to figure me out," Not Quinn said, "I am your dreams for the future. I graduated Yale at the top of my class with a double major in Drama and Creative Writing. I am a hugely sought after actress and burgeoning screenwriter. I have a beautiful home that I share my even more successful wife Rachel Berry-Fabray and our two dogs Barnaby and Cornelius. All of this can be yours, Quinn, if you have the will to make it happen."_

_"Why would she want to be with me?" Quinn asked._

_"Why wouldn't she?" Not Quinn said._

_"Because I was awful to her," Quinn said._

_"And yet you're friends," Not Quinn said, "She's eagerly sought you out more than once and was desperate for your approval about her wedding. She cares about you. She's forgiven you."_

_"Who knows what I even look like anymore?" Quinn said._

"You're a very pretty girl, Quinn,"_ came Rachel's voice out of Not Quinn's mouth, _"the prettiest I've ever met... but you're a lot more than that." _Back in Quinn's voice she said, "Rachel doesn't care what you look like."_

_"She loves Finn," Quinn said firmly._

_"And yet she's here," Not Quinn said, "she's always been here."_

_"What?" Quinn said._

_"She's with you," Not Quinn said, "at the hospital. She's hardly left your side. Listen." This time the voice from above was a cacophony of sounds overlapping and echoing off of each other. She caught bits about Billy Pilgrim and Bilbo Baggins. She heard singing and what sounded like casual conversations. She couldn't really understand that much of it but it's clear enough to her that all the sounds were Rachel's voice. After a moment the ruckus died down and there was just one trailing sound, _"Come back to me, okay, Quinn? Whenever you're ready."

"_How long have I been here?" Quinn asked._

"_Here doesn't exactly measure time very well," Not Quinn said._

"_How long have I been in the hospital?" she reworded._

_Not Quinn shook her head, "Your brain doesn't have that knowledge." Quinn went to speak again and suddenly found that she couldn't once more. "You're wasting time in here. You've done what you needed to do. You've put the pieces of you back together. You admitted the truth to yourself. You've done all you can do from in here. Now every minute you waste in here is a minute you aren't with Rachel."_

"_Rachel, I'm on my way," she said._

**X X X X X**

It was 2:30 in the morning and all but one small light behind Quinn's bed were out in the room. Rachel was fast asleep on the couch beside the bed, when Quinn began to stir. She emitted a low, soft groan that didn't draw much attention. She flexed her fingers which obviously didn't send people racing to her side. Another louder moan and Rachel began to stir. Finally Quinn, through dry lips and a parched throat croaked out, "Ray… Ray…" Rachel's eyes shot open and she sat up abruptly. She looked over to the bed expectantly; suddenly desperate to know she wasn't dreaming. She wasn't disappointed. Quinn was holding her hand out shakily towards her, "Rachel?"

Rachel leapt from the couch to Quinn's side, taking Quinn's hand in hers. "I'm here, Quinn! I'm right here with you," Rachel said, "Can you hear me?"

"I'm… not…" Quinn was struggling to speak.

Rachel grabbed her water bottle and held it to Quinn's lips, "Small sips okay? Don't overdo it." Rachel held the bottle to make sure. After Quinn had taken a couple of small sips, Rachel pulled the bottle away and sat it back down.

Quinn cleared her throat and spoke again, "Rachel?"

"I'm right here," Rachel repeated gripping Quinn's hand between both of hers.

"I'm… I'm n-not going to stand by and watch y-y-you ruin your life by marrying Finn Hudson."

"I'm not," Rachel quickly replied, "I'm not marrying him. I gave him the ring back. I'm…"

Quinn spoke again, cutting Rachel off, "Not gonna… stand by…" Her eyes fluttered shut again and her head rolled to the side facing away from Rachel.

Rachel's eyes bulged, "No, nonononono!" She let one of her hands drift up to Quinn's wrist to feel for a pulse and it was definitely there. "Quinn, please don't leave me again. I love you, please come back to me. Please come back." Nothing. Rachel hit the nurse's call button and less than a minute later a nurse walked in. "She… she came to. Just like for a minute," Rachel told her

The nurse, Brenda, quickly went about checking Quinn's vitals and after a minute a slight smile broke out on her lips. "It's okay, honey," she said, "She's just asleep now. It's not uncommon. She could wake back up in a few minutes or it could be hours. How was she while she was awake?"

"She was disoriented," Rachel said, "I don't think she knew where she was. She kept repeating her part of a conversation that we had a few days before her accident."

"That's also not uncommon," Brenda said, "Her vitals are good, strong. I'm going to go call Dr. O'Malley."

"And I'll call Quinn's mother," Rachel said reaching for her cell phone on the table next to her couch. Brenda left and Rachel quickly called Judy to inform her than Quinn had come to, if only momentarily, and Judy said she'd get cleaned up and be on her way soon. Rachel then questioned who else to call at this late/early hour. Finally she settled on calling Santana, who said she'd get up in a couple of hours and be up there, and her fathers, who told her to keep them updated. Everyone else she sent text messages. She got a couple of replies just saying that it's good to hear and to keep them updated.

Dr. Karen O'Malley arrived just over an hour after Quinn had come to and gone over some cursory examinations but said that they really wouldn't know anything for sure about Quinn's status until she woke and could talk to them. She encouraged Rachel and Judy to just be patient and if they could to get some sleep since Quinn could potentially sleep for the better part of the day. Rachel had no interest in even trying to sleep again but Judy insisted she do so since she had school in the morning.

Rachel was about to tell Judy that she had absolutely no intention of going to school tomorrow until she'd remembered her promise to Joe. She briefly considered just phoning Mr. Schuester in the morning to tell him that she sent Joe by but she had promised Joe that she would be there and Rachel Berry was a woman of her word. So with some reluctance, Rachel lay back down on the couch and eventually dozed back off slightly before four.

Rachel's alarm went off promptly at 6 and she once again sprang out of bed. Rachel quickly collected her things and left for home to run through a slightly abbreviated version of her morning routine. Then she was off to school. As it turned, it didn't take much convincing to get Mr. Schuester to let Joe audition for Glee. Considering that about two-thirds of the existing club was due to graduate in just over two months, he was happy to have all the new blood he could get.

Rachel's school day had been dragging by. To her and her sense of drama, every minute seemed like an eternity. Life seemed to be in slow motion. Anyone who talked to her never registered. For three weeks she'd been okay at school even though she would spare many thoughts for Quinn in those days wondering if she would wake up, but now it was different, now Quinn was going to wake up. It was no longer a matter of if but just when, and Rachel found she couldn't bring herself to focus on anything else.

Everyone tried to talk to her about anything and everything else, thinking to keep her mind off of things. Kurt and Blaine talked about New York and NYADA. Mercedes and Tina talked about whatever the latest gossip was. Puck and Artie went off on debating the relative merits of one video game versus another. It was Mike, of all people, who looked at her in their fourth period AP Chemistry class and said, "Any word?" Rachel just shook her head. "I'm sorry," he said, "I'm sure it won't be long now."

"Thanks, Mike," she said leaning her head on his shoulder.

Thirty minutes later at lunch, Rachel couldn't help but think that she's not the only one in Glee who's a little bit psychic as her phone vibrated across the surface of the piano where she'd sat it during her customary rehearsal during lunch. Rachel retrieved the device and looked to the caller ID; it's Judy. "Judy, is…"

"Everything's fine, honey," Judy said, "She's awake and she seems to be doing just fine. She doesn't remember the accident but she remembers being in the car, so she's not missing too much time. They're going for an MRI right now just to be sure."

"Ohmigod, this is wonderful, amazing news. I'm going to go get my things and I'll be there right away."

"Rachel, honey, I know you're excited, as am I," Judy said, "and I know that nothing I say will keep you from coming here right now but please take a minute. Take a couple of deep breaths. I really, really do not want you behind the wheel of a car when you're this wound up. Get Santana or Brittany to drive you if needs be, okay?"

**X X X X X**

Rachel, Brittany, and Santana made it to the hospital before Quinn made it back from the MRI. Judy was sat in a chair on the other side of the bed while the three girls were all perched on the couch that Rachel had called home for the last three weeks. Rachel, never a terribly patient person anyway, was so anxious that she was vigorously tapping her foot much to Santana's chagrin. "Stop it, Berry," she said, "It's like you're tapping out messages in Morse code to the floor below us."

"Don't be mean, San," Brittany chided.

Rachel didn't respond to or comply with Santana. Instead she just continued staring at the door hardly even blinking.

Ten minutes after they had arrived, the door to Quinn's room opened once more and in rolled Quinn in her wheelchair pushed a very large male nurse named Bruce. "Hey, Q!" Brittany said bolting up from her seat immediately. "I'm super happy that you woke up."

"Hey, Brittany," Quinn replied, "I'm super happy to see you now that I woke up. Could I ask you a favor?"

"Totally anything," Brittany said.

"I can't feel my legs and I'm not supposed to put weight on my wrist while it's still healing, so would you mind helping me back into the bed?" Quinn asked.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Bruce said.

"It's totally cool," Brittany said, "I'm way stronger than I look. Q's a cheerleader like us. I've picked her up like a million times before. Plus I dated a guy in a wheelchair for a while, so I totally know what I'm doing." Bruce stood aside and waved Brittany on. She reached down to make sure the chair's breaks were secured then squatted next to her. "Okay, put your arms around my neck, Q," she said. Quinn did and when she leaned forward Brittany put one arm across Quinn's back, the other under Quinn's knees, and quickly scooped her up. "I totally did this to San the other night."

Quinn scrunched her face and said, "Was she hurt?"

"No we were pretending it was our wedding night," Brittany said settling Quinn down on the bed, "I was carrying her into our Honeymoon Suite before we had-"

"Britt," Santana said, "Remember where we are and that maybe Q and her mom don't want to hear about that."

Quinn scoffed, "More like you don't want her to tell people how sweet you are to her."

"Look, Q, if you're just gonna bust up my game, you can go back into the coma, okay?" Santana said as she came to stand next to the bed.

"San, be nice," Brittany quickly chastised.

Quinn however was laughing, head tilted back against the bed, "Oh I missed that." He eyes drifted over to see Rachel still sitting on the edge of the couch, staring up at her expectantly, and biting her lip. Quinn looked back up. "S, B, Mom, can Rachel and I have the room please?"

"Sure, honey," Judy said, "I could use some lunch, actually." She leaned down to give Quinn a hug and then walked out.

When she was out the door, Santana said, "Remember, Q, the doors don't lock, so no sex in the hospital room."

"Right because that was my first thought after waking up with no feeling below the waist," Quinn fired back.

"That pretty much makes you perfect for one another," Santana said, "After dealing with Stay Puffed's limp noodle I'm sure Berry's pretty well use to feeling nothing below the waist, too."

"Get out," Quinn said firmly. Brittany forced her hand into Santana's and led Santana out of the room. When they'd gone, Rachel was still in the same spot, still looking up at Quinn. Quinn held out a hand in Rachel's direction. "Rachel?" she said.

"Quinn, I'm so sorry," Rachel said tears springing from her eyes immediately, "You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me…"

"Rachel," Quinn tried to interject.

"…I shouldn't have been texting you while I knew you were driving. I-I shouldn't have even been there in the first place. Getting married in high school, not even straight out of high school but actually still _in_ high school…"

"Rachel."

"…if that was anyone else I've dragged them to the nearest medical facility and had them tested for drug abuse. What was I even _thinking_? But rest assured that there will be no repeats of that…"

"Rachel!" Quinn barked this time, "I can't get up to come hug you. You have to come to me." Rachel stood and stepped up to her. Quinn sat up and pulled Rachel into a tight embrace pressing them together as firmly as her unbroken right hand could manage. "None of this is your fault, Rach. None of it, do you hear me? I was the one who picked up my phone. I was the one who was all in my head when I should have been watching the road. You did nothing wrong, okay?" she said as finally let Rachel go.

Rachel shifted back sitting on the side of Quinn's bed. "I don't know how you can so easily forgive me, Quinn. You could have died."

"Me forgive you?" Quinn said incredulously, "Rachel, think about all of the forgiveness that I get from you that I don't deserve. I was awful to you for years: insults and slushies and drawing in the bathroom. If anything, I'm the unworthy one."

"But you could have died."

"But I didn't," Quinn said, "The doctors say I could be back up and walking as early as next week. The cast will be off in another month or so. By the time Nationals roll around, it'll be like all of this never even happened. I'll be right there swaying in the background while you win us a national championship."

"Oh, Quinn," Rachel said looking down at the blanket draped over Quinn's legs, "who cares about Nationals right now?"

"I do," Quinn responded with no uncertainty, "It's what we've been working towards for the last three years and we're on the verge of making it happen, Rachel. Why would I give up caring about it now?"

"I just… After everything that's happened, something like Show Choir Nationals seems sort of trivial by comparison," Rachel said.

"I disagree," Quinn said, "I think it seems even more important than ever to pursue the things that you are passionate about and revel in your successes. Personally, I can't wait to see the smile on your face when they announce New Directions as the 2012 Show Choir National Champions. And I'll be right there beside you helping you lift that absurdly huge trophy." Rachel let out a deep, cathartic sigh and smiled at Quinn. "So I caught in your kind of rambling speech that you didn't marry Finn, is that right?"

Rachel nodded and said, "That is correct. I walked out and left him standing at the altar. Broke up with him, or well, I gave him the ring back, called off our engagement, and have barely spoken to him in three weeks. I think that qualifies as breaking up with someone."

"I should think so," Quinn said, "I'm not entirely sure how to say this really, but after everything I can't just not say it, so…" Quinn took deep, relaxing breath and continued, "Rachel, I love you. I love you in the way where I want to take you on dates and ask you to prom and spend the next four years taking buses and trains back and forth between New Haven and New York every weekend. I-I don't know when it happened. I only know when I realized it. I was singing 'Never Can Say Goodbye' when it occurred to me that you're the person that I don't _want _to say goodbye to. On top of all that, you were here and I knew you were here for me. I heard your voice calling out to me, calling me home. I'm here now because of you. I want to be with you, Rachel." Rachel sat stunned looking at Quinn. It's not that she didn't know or at least hope that was true but she just hadn't expected it to all sound so wonderful and so eloquent. "You're silence is kind of brutal right now."

Rachel shook off her stun quickly, "I, um, after Regionals you asked me if I sang 'Here's to Us' for Finn. I didn't," Rachel said, "I sang it for the club, so that we'd win. I sang it so that I'd get into NYADA, so that I'd be close to you next year, so that we could do bus trips and train rides and Christmas and New Years in New York. I wanted to tell you this then but I let fear of the unknown paralyze me and for that I'm sorry. A-At this point I'm rambling because I'm stalling and I don't know why. All of our friends probably already know this, as well as our parents… Quinn, I love you, too."

"You do?"

"I do."

Quinn sighed and pulled Rachel back into her for another hug, "Oh God, you don't know how good that is to hear. I think I was afraid to even let myself think it was possible after, you know… everything. I really want to kiss you right now."

"And I you," Rachel replied, "but I think once we start, we may not stop for some time and there was one more piece of business I wanted to discuss before we start what I can only imagine will be an immensely pleasurable experience-"

"Rachel," Quinn interrupted.

"Right, concision is key right now. My fathers are taking me to New York for Spring Break so that I can get use to being in the city. I would like it if you could join us."

"I'd love to," Quinn said. No sooner had the sentence escaped her lips than Rachel's lips were upon hers. "Immensely pleasurable" didn't begin to cover it.

**A/N: Yes, the names of their dogs are a reference to "Just off the Key of Reason" by ElsBells. **


	7. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I own neither Glee nor any part thereof. No money is being made off of this story and is intended only for entertainment purposes; therefore it falls within the parameters of "Fair Use"**

**A/N: So the idea of this being a brief epilogue kind of went out the door and if I'm not mistaken it's actually the longest chapter of the story. Basically, once I had Quinn say that she cared about Nationals, I sort of felt compelled to pay that off. I hope that this is all self evident as you read but the plain text takes place in the present during the days leading up to and through Nationals, the italics are flashbacks to the weeks between Quinn's waking up and the present.**

**Face It. Quinn's Not Coming**

**Epilogue**

"We should really be rehearsing right now," Rachel said. It was just after one o'clock and she was lying out on the beach in the bright sun in Miami in this dark blue bikini that Santana had insisted she buy for the trip. Santana had actually been doing a lot of insisting on the clothes she buy recently, but Rachel didn't really mind because she did kind of look really hot in most of the things Santana picked out and she found she enjoyed looking hot, or rather the effect that her looking hot had on a certain blonde girlfriend of hers. So anyway, lying out, Surfside Beach, Miami, Florida, 48 hours away from the first round of Nationals. Beside her was her girlfriend, Quinn Fabray… Rachel loved the sound of those words… and her newest best friends Santana and Brittany.

"Oh my God, Berry," Santana said, "We have fucking rehearsed, okay? I never in my life thought I would long for the days when Sue wanted to destroy Glee Club, but after the last six weeks…"

**X X X**

_"Excuse me, Coach Sylvester," Rachel said knocking on Sue's open door._

_ "What can I do for you, Rachel?" Sue said leaning back in her chair. Rachel didn't move or say anything. "Come on in. Did you need something?"_

_ "I'm sorry," Rachel said, "I'm just unaccustomed to you addressing me by my given name. I wished to speak with you today because Mr. Schuester informed me that you had offered your assistance with Glee Clubs coming trip to Nationals."_

_ "I have," Sue said, "Something in the hormones I'm taking to maintain my pregnancy has made me want to be a nicer person, and quite frankly that confuses and disgusts me on a deeply personal level but I've never been one to fight Mother Nature, so I'm available."_

_ Rachel stopped herself from pointing out that the hormones that were causing to behavior in this way were in fact her fighting Mother Nature. Sue was being nice and was offering to help achieve her goals so who was she to tell her otherwise. "Good," Rachel said, "That's good, and congratulations on your little bundle of joy."_

_ "Thanks," Sue said with a smile that looked genuinely sincere, which just made it all the more disconcerting, "So what can I do for you?"_

_ "As you may know we're two months out from Nationals and we aren't ready…"_

**X X X**

"Glee Club boot camp was enough," Quinn said, "We're ready and even if we aren't, we don't have a rehearsal hall reserved until 5. Our choreography is too elaborate for any of the rooms, so we really couldn't rehearse right now if we wanted to. Just relax and enjoy the sun."

**X X X**

_"So," Finn said standing up in front of the club, "I think at Nationals Rachel and I should do a duet."_

_ "NO!" came the resounding answer from everyone who hadn't joined the club this year._

_ "What, why not?" he said._

_ "Why not?" Santana said incredulously, "How about because you're not over her and none of us trust you not to do something monumentally stupid like you did last year? How about the fact that now that we know the Changster has a set of pipes on him absolutely every guy in the club is a better singer than you? How about despite Mike and Shue's booty camp at the beginning of the year and Berry and Sue's practices, you still can't dance worth a damn? Or how about this? When you and Rachel don't sing a duet at competition we're 5 for 5 but when you do we're 0 for 2. You're like a giant lumbering fucking jinx."_

_ "God, you don't have to be such a bitch, Santana," Finn said, "Words hurt."_

_ "Oh, really? You mean words like 'why don't you come out of the closet'? Do those words hurt? I tell you what, Lumps, sit down, shut up, let the adults work, and if you're really nice and manage to not out anyone in the next six weeks, we'll let you, Rory the Leprechaun, and The White Lenny Kravitz stand in the back and do the wrong dance steps while those of us who have actually worked to improve ourselves in the last three years win a National Championship that you can spend the rest of your life talking about as though you actually helped."_

_ "And what are you gonna do if I don't sit down and shut up?" Finn said puffing up his chest._

_ "Then I'm gonna kidnap you out of you house in the dead of night, take you to this abandoned warehouse up Lima Heights way where I have a surgical theater set up, and my Papi and I will rip your fucking spinal cord out and give it to Artie, because I'm pretty sure that even though he hasn't walked in almost a decade he'd still be a better dancer than you."_

_ "Hey, guys, sorry I'm late," Mr. Schuester said breezing into the room, "What did I miss?"_

**X X X**

_"Santana, Mercedes, can I speak with you please?" Rachel asked._

_ "What's up?" Mercedes responded._

_ "As you well know, there was a deal negotiated between yourselves and Quinn to get you to come back to New Directions after Sectionals, a deal in which you would get one performance slot at every competition, and rest assured I have no intention of going back on that, a deal is a deal. You two, Brittany, and Sugar will have your slot. However, if the rest of the Troubletones wish to join us in Miami then they need to start attending Glee Club regularly."_

_ "Why," Santana said, "aside from The Mack, they're all Cheerios, they're all great dancers."_

_ "Excellent," Rachel responded, "then they can contribute to the group. Help those that need the help with the choreography. In return, they can receive help improving their vocals. Hopefully that will foster a sense of camaraderie between them and New Directions and some of them will stay on next year when we've all gone."_

_ "Next year?" Mercedes echoed._

_ "Yes, Mercedes, though I am looking forward to moving to New York that does not mean that I'm not concerned with the fate of our Glee Club. There are currently sixteen members of New Directions and ten of us are due to graduate in just over a month. With Rory due to be deported at the end of the school year, that leaves Mr. Schuester with Blaine, Tina, Artie, Sugar, and Joe. If we could retain the four Troubletones not set to graduate that would make his job of filling out the club next year all the easier."_

_ "Look I can lay down the law with the Cheerios," Santana said, "They'll be there, but you can't force The Mack to do anything she doesn't want to do. How your mom got her on The Troubletones in the first place is beyond me."_

_ "Don't worry about her," Rachel said, "I've got my best girl on that."_

**X X X**

_ "Mack, can I talk to you?" Quinn said. _

_The Mack didn't respond, there wasn't time to before Shelia and Ronnie stood to confront Quinn. "Well, if it isn't our wayward fourth," Shelia said, "What happened, Q? You get lost on your way to the bathroom, fall in a bottle of peroxide, and accidently wander your way back to class?"_

"_You stink like soap, Quinn," Ronnie said._

"_Be as mad as you want at me," Quinn said, "because I walked out on this dead end you guys have built and convinced yourselves that you want. I made peace with myself and my past. I let go of my demons and made a future for myself, and I'm not sorry. I am in a good place in my life. I'm sorry that you're not, but you are not going to make me feel bad about myself because I am. It isn't stupid to have dreams, no matter how much life has disappointed you."_

"_Disappointed?" The Mack said from behind the other two girls who were suddenly pushed aside by the smaller girl. "Disappointed? That word doesn't even begin to cover it and you know that! My folks… they may not have thrown me out like yours did, but there's more than one way for parents to be heartless. Do you know how many times anyone in my family has even spoken to me in the last three years? I wouldn't even need both hands to count them. They honestly don't care if I live or die at this point."_

"_So to get back at them, you're going to sit down here and ruin any chance you have at doing something with your life, of getting away from them? How long are you going to let the actions of others define you?" The Mack just stared at Quinn with fire in her eyes, "I'm sorry that your family has abandoned you. I can't imagine how terrible it is walking around that house just being ignored, but I'll tell you something that I learned in Glee Club. When the family you're born into abandons or lets you down, you have to find yourself a new family. Glee Club can be that family for you, Mack, but you have to let us. If you want to go to Nationals with us and perform with The Troubletones, and I know you do, then you have to start showing up to rehearsals. You're an amazing dancer. Glee Club's going to need you next year, and I think you could use some people in your life who love you and want to see you succeed. You aren't going to find them down here."_

"_Oh Hell, no," Ronnie said, "Bad enough _you_ turned on us, but you think you can turn The Mack on us too?"_

"_Damn right," Shelia said, "The Mack's ours. You can fuck off back to Rich Bitch Land if you want but stop trying to tear us apart."_

"_Why are you still here, Shelia?" Quinn asked, "You turned eighteen back in January. What happened to all the things you said you were going to do once you didn't have to 'waste your life in school anymore'? Huh? Why are you still down under the bleachers smoking and talking a load of bull about things you aren't going to do? Ronnie, you'll be eighteen in a couple of weeks, how's that road trip shaping up? Got any money saved up? Bus tickets? Have you even bought a travel guide yet? The Mack isn't yours or anyone else's. Mack, you've got another year before you can drop out… two if you actually want to graduate. You can waste your life down here smoking or you can try to make something of yourself. If you want to be a Troubletone be in the choir room at 3 o'clock today and every day."_

**X X X**

"Why do I have to room with you?" Santana asked.

"Because," Rachel replied, "There's a certain behavioral expectation that the school requires Mr. Schuester to enforce on trips such as these and simply dividing boys and girls obviously isn't sufficient this year. Hence you are here with me, Brittany is with Sugar, and Quinn is with Tina, and you are absolutely not allowed to sneak out of here in the night to go hook up with Brittany because that would force Sugar and I to occupy the same space for a prolonged period of time and I might, in that instance, kill her."

Santana sighed and said, "No, it's fine. Britt's probably having a blast rooming with Sugar anyways. They're probably painting toenails and braiding hair and all that other sleepover shi-stuff that Sugar never got to do."

Rachel didn't really know what to say so she returned to her computer, trying to commit the layout of New York City to memory so that she didn't need a map when she moved there. "Look, Berry, if I can't sneak off to Britt's, you have to help me stay entertained."

"Okay," Rachel said, "Normally I would suggest singing, but I think musically we should stay focused on our songs."

"Agreed," Santana said, "So just talk, have you and Q gone to Vaginatown yet?"

"Oh my dear God," Rachel said, "that is ridiculously personal."

"Well, I suppose that answers that question," Santana said, "What's the hold up?"

Now it was Rachel's turn to sigh since she knew that Santana wasn't going to let this subject drop, "Quinn," she said, "Quinn's not ready. I want to but I suspect she has lingering body image issues, from the accident, from being pregnant…"

"That shit's all in her head. She looks fucking amazing," Santana interjected. Rachel hiked an inquisitive eyebrow, "What? We're Cheerios. We change clothes in front of each other every day. This is not new or news and try as I might to be respectful of boundaries and shit, I still occasionally look. Unless she's doing some world class cover-up of scars…"

"She has two scars," Rachel said, "One on the outside of her wrist, one above her eyebrow and both are so barely noticeable that basically you have to be me to find them, and I'm certain that I've made abundantly clear that I do not care about them."

"So then it's all in her stupid head," Santana said, "You need to find a way past that, and I'm not saying you need to go all boy on her and demand sex or whatever, but you need to work out a plan to get it in before you guys leave for college."

"What? Why then?"

"Because right now she's all gunshy about sex or whatever," Santana explained, "But Yale is like one of the most pro-gay schools in the country. Q's three months away from being surrounded by tens of thousands of people that all give exactly zero shits that she's gay. A couple of months around all of that and she's gonna get curious about things and you're gonna be two hours away. I love Quinn like a sister, but she doesn't exactly hold the gold medal in fidelity."

"That was different…"

Santana cut her off, "No, you need to listen…"

"NO!" Rachel countered, "_You_ need to listen! I'm sorry for shouting but you didn't really leave me much choice. I _appreciate_ that you are trying to help. I can honestly see that your heart is in the right place, but you are stomping on some very sensitive issues for us. This is not my place to say this, but her past indiscretions are different because Quinn's gay."

"Uh, duh," Santana said.

"I mean that to say that she's like you, 100% lesbian, with zero interest in men," Rachel elaborated, "Which means that she didn't love Finn or Sam. She loves me. I know she does. I can feel it every time we kiss. Of course, I worry that she'll stray, because she's Quinn Fabray, the most heavenly, amazing creature on this Earth, and I have some fairly big inferiority issues when it comes to romantic relationships… but not because of some high school romance that she didn't care about."

"So you guys have talked about this?" Santana asked.

"At some length, yes," Rachel responded.

"Okay, another subject then?"

"Please, something less serious."

"So you're going to NYADA, that's gotta be pretty exciting," Santana said, "Sucks that Kurt didn't get in."

"It is exciting for me and unfortunate for Kurt, but Carnegie Mellon is an amazing program," Rachel said, "Kurt will do very well for himself there. I just know it."

"Yeah, just… I know you guys had your sights set on rooming together all through school and whatever," Santana said.

"Yes, well, a wise woman once told me that life isn't a fairy tale," Rachel said, "You're pre-law at Columbia?"

"Criminal justice and political science undergrad," Santana said, "before law school, but yeah."

"What's your living arrangement? I assume you and Brittany are going to get a place," Rachel said.

"That's sorta up in the air. It's still to be seen if Britts is even gonna get to come with me right away, why?"

"Well, I ask because my fathers and I got a little ahead of ourselves and signed a lease on a two bedroom before we found out that Kurt was bound for Pittsburgh, so now I'm facing the prospect of finding a roommate and there's just something about rooming with a stranger that I don't find appealing at all."

"Are you asking me to move in with you?" Santana asked.

"Something to consider," Rachel said.

**X X X**

_Quinn sighed, "Rachel, please don't hate me, but I don't think I can do this." Rachel's jaw dropped as shock spread over her face. "Oh my God," Quinn said quickly realizing how that sounded, "The song! I can't do the song! We are beyond good, I promise."_

_ "God, Quinn, you nearly gave me a heart attack," Rachel said, "In the future, please consider at length all bad news that you have to give me and think of all possible ways to phrase it, then choose the one that sounds least like you are breaking up with me."_

_ "I am so sorry," Quinn said._

_ "You are forgiven," Rachel said, "and while I understand that the prospect of doing an Adele song can be intimidating, 'One and Only' is well within your vocal range."_

_ "No, it's not that," Quinn said, "It's just… it's too much of a love song, and please don't think that I'm ashamed of you, Rachel, because I'm not and never will be. It has nothing to do with being gay. I'm just not comfortable putting that much of myself out there for the world to see."_

_ "Says the woman who's majoring in Drama next year," Rachel said._

_ "Yes, but that's different," she said, "I won't be on stage as Quinn Fabray then. I'll be Roxie Hart or whoever. Rachel, I want to sing lead with you, more than you know, but I…"_

_ "Relax, Quinn, it's fine," Rachel said with a warm smile so that Quinn knew she meant it, "We can find something else. I'm certain that The Troubletones would gladly take over on Adele. Did you have something else in mind for us?"_

_ "Yeah, I was thinking, you said you sang to me while I was in the hospital."_

_ "You want to do 'Shake it Out'?"_

_ "Not that song specifically, but I was thinking that we could stick with Florence and the Machine," Quinn said, "'Rabbit Heart' has a good amount of backing vocals for the rest of the club to participate so that it's not just the two of us dominating Nationals."_

_ "Sounds good," Rachel said._

_ "I really am sorry about this," Quinn said._

_ "Don't be," Rachel said, "If this relationship is going to last beyond high school, which I very much want, then I need to make a habit of taking your needs and considerations into account when I plan things. You've been so good about accounting for my needs. I am happy to do this for you and for us."_

_ "Thanks, Rach," Quinn said._

**X X X**

"Alright, good work everyone," Mr. Schuester said, "We're going to take a fifteen minute break here in just a second, but first Quinn and Santana had something they wanted to say to everyone so please give them you undivided attention, please."

"Okay, so listen and listen good," Santana said, "Last year at Nationals there was an incident on stage that knocked us out of the Top Ten. I'm not going to get into it right now, but if you want to know, ask someone who was here. They'll tell you."

"In an effort to prevent a repeat of this," Quinn said, "we're instituting a rule. If you'll look at your watches or cell phones or whatever you use to keep track of time, you'll notice that it is coming up on 3:00 which means we're just over a day away from our performance slot of 3:30. So as of 3:15 pm tomorrow and running until every last one of us is off stage we are instituting a zero tolerance No Kissing Policy."

"So you've got twenty four hours," Santana said, "If you're here with your honey or there's an ex you're trying to win back or there's just someone you think you might want you've got tonight to work that shit out. If after 3:15pm tomorrow I see you even look like you're thinking about getting your mack on, I will cut you. Any forlorn or longing looks at any ex's and I will cut you. There are razor blades all up in my hair. If you think I'm joking just try me."

"Any unprofessionalism on any of your parts and you will be summarily yanked from performance and packed on the earliest flight back to Lima," Quinn said, "Look around you, there are 24 of us now. We can still go on with as few as twelve members, so there's a lot of room to make cuts."

**X X X**

"I just know that I'm going to be far too energized to sleep," Rachel said. They were out to dinner at the nicest restaurant that they could afford (which just so happened to be in the hotel they were staying in), dressed to kill. The four of them were on what Santana made perfectly clear was not a double date, because double dates are lame and and girly and whatever. They were just four friends out to dinner...four friends that happened to be two couples in a romantic restaurant.

"It's okay to be nervous, Rach," Quinn said.

"That's just it," Rachel said, "I'm not _nervous_. I'm excited. This time last year we had no set list, no choreography, and I wasting time on a date with Finn."

"And we were having a pillow fight," Quinn said.

"Though, I must say as big a waste of time as that date was, I'll never regret it because I got to meet one of my idols that night Ms Patti Lupone," Rachel said.

"I didn't know that," Quinn said.

"Was that awesome?" Santana asked.

"Beyond awesome. Beyond anything I could have hoped from the experience. She made me promise to never give up," Rachel said. After a moment Rachel's eyes bulged in sudden realization, "I almost did," she said, "I almost gave up. I almost let down Patti Lupone."

"But you didn't," Brittany said.

"Yeah, we're back at Nationals and you're on your way to New York," Quinn said.

"Thanks to you," Rachel said, "If it weren't for you I'd have been Mrs. Finn Hudson right now and I'd be miserable and lying to myself about that fact."

"Well as flattered as I am," Quinn replied, "I'd like to think that you'd have figured it out by yourself." Rachel leaned over towards Quinn and crooked her finger at her. Quinn leaned into her and kissed her, softly at first but growing little by little.

"Aight, you two get a room," Santana said, "Actually, yeah, now that I say it go do that. Go to upstairs to your room and put some dents in that mattress. Work off some of her excess energy because if she's spun up like a top all night, I'm not gonna be able to deal."

Rachel broke off the kiss and started ranting before her eyes were fully open, "Santana, you are the epitome of crass. We will most certainly-"

She was cut off by Quinn's lips on her cheek briefly before she pulled back only slightly and whispered, "You want to?"

Rachel looked at her suddenly wide eyed and whispered back, "Do _you_ want to?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't," said Quinn breathily right in Rachel's ear.

"Brittany, Santana, please enjoy the remainder of your evening," Rachel said suddenly dragging Quinn bodily out of the restaurant.

Santana giggled at them as they were leaving while Brittany got into her purse. Santana said, "I didn't think they'd actually do it." She glanced over and saw Brittany, "Who are you texting?"

"Tina," Brittany said, "telling her that she's rooming with Sugar tonight since I don't figure they're gonna stop once they get started."

"With Sugar?"

"Totally," Brittany said, "Faberry's not gonna be the only ones having their sexy times tonight."

**X X X**

Just before midnight there came a knock on Santana and Rachel's door. "Bed check," Mr. Schuester called through the door.

"This ought to be fun," Santana said just before opening the door. "Hey, Mr. Shue."

"Hey, Santana," he replied, "I just need to verify that Rachel's here."

"She's not," Santana said flatly.

"She's not? Well do have any idea where she is?"

"Yeah, she's with Q."

"And what are Quinn and Rachel doing?" he asked.

"Gee, I don't know, Mr. Shue," Santana said, "I couldn't really begin to guess what two teenagers in love are doing alone with each other in a locked hotel room. Do you have any ideas about that, Britts?" Santana called back over her shoulder.

"Um, Rach and Q are both totally smart, they could be playing Scrabble," Brittany said, "or maybe they made a sheet fort, that's always fun, but mostly they probably just had sex."

"They… I'm… I can't let them…" Mr. Schuester fumbled for words.

"Yeah," Santana began, "Well let me drop some knowledge on you. It's now midnight. They went running off upstairs about 8:15, so by my count they've had about three, almost four hours to do all manner of things you're supposed to stop them from doing, and not to go all TMI on you but so have we. Look on the bright side though, between Britts and me, Rachel and Q, you have zero chance of anyone winding up pregnant and little chance of anyone catching an STD, and strictly speaking Mr. Motta paid for all this, not the school."

"It's still a school trip, Santana," he said.

"Well, okay, fine. Then it's your call Mr. Shue," Santana said, "You can suspend all four of us from competition and lose the leads of both of your songs with, what, fifteen hours until show time because consenting adults in loving, committed relationships had sex with one another, or you let it go, and while you're contemplating those options, go ahead and tell me that you and the future Mrs. Shue aren't getting Freaky OCDeaky in your room."

Mr. Schuester sighed and held up his clipboard. "Just tell me who is in which room."

"Brittany's here with me, obvs, Berry's with Q in her and Tina's room, and Tina's crashing with Sugar in her and Britts' room," Santana said, "Although I can't actually verify that last part."

"Oh yeah," Brittany said, "Tina could have gone to Mike's room instead."

"Which would put Sugar and Blaine together," Santana supplied as Mr. Schuester made notes.

"Unless Blaine went to be with Kurt," Brittany said.

"That would mean Sugar's with Mercedes."

"Unless Mercedes is with Sam."

"Which would mean Sugar and Finn."

"Unless Finn's with… no, Finn's not with anyone," Brittany concluded, "Oh but Sugar could be with Rory."

"Of course," Santana confirmed, Mr. Shue still furiously scribbling, "That would mean Finn and Joe."

"That would be cool," Brittany said, "Then Finn could totally tell Joe about how he spent a week praying to a grilled cheese sandwich… or Sugar could have decided she likes Artie better and gone to be with him."

"Which would mean Finn and Puck, and they could have a long heart-to-heart about how all of their ex-girlfriends are gay for each other," Santana said, "Basically, Mr. Shue, you're just going to have to go door-to-door, but remember the rule: if you see a sock, don't knock."

"I thought it was scarves," he replied.

"Yeah," Santana said, "because we all brought scarves to Miami in late May. Goodnight Mr. Shue."

"Goodnight, Santana."

When the door closed Brittany said, "You were totally right that was fun. Now come back to bed."

Mr. Schuester found four socks that night. Eventually by process of elimination he figured out who was where before he finally retired back to his and Emma's room for the night.

**X X X**

The whooping and hollering of a performance high echoed around New Directions' green room. Hugs and high five and fist bumps we being traded all around, kisses as well, now that embargo had been lifted. "Mack?" Rachel said

"Hey, Berry, great job out there," Mack said, "Florence one of my favs."

"Thank you very much," Rachel said, "You were phenomenal out there as well. You are a very talented dancer. I hope you choose to stick with Glee Club next year. You would be a great asset to the team."

"Did Quinn tell you to say that?" The Mack asked.

"Quinn? No, why?"

"I don't know it's just a lot of the same things she said to me when she convinced me to show up for rehearsals. 'Glee Club needs you, and you need them' type stuff."

"Oh, well the club certainly does and not knowing your personal situation, I'll just say Quinn is very wise and doles out advice sparingly and you'd do well to listen. I've disregarded her advice in the past and while I haven't always regretted it, I know that I'd have been happier if I'd listened. Take that for what you will."

"Thanks," The Mack said.

**X X X **

"Mr. Shue, we can't see," Finn said.

"Please tell me we placed this year," Kurt said.

"I assure you it's not a matter of if but where," Rachel said.

"Eighth," Mr. Schuester said turning to face them again, "Congratulations guys and girls, you are the number eight seed in Showcase tomorrow." Another round of whooping and hollering ensued. "Alright, alright, alright. I know you're all eager to go celebrate, but a quick bit of business. Performance order is last goes first so at eighth seed, we are going third which means 11:00am, so bad news, good news. The bad news is that practice starts at 8 so everyone has to be up ready to go no later than 7:30. That means I'm calling lights out at 10 tonight instead of midnight and everyone will be in the room they were assigned when we arrived at that time." There was a round of groans from the couples. "Now for the good news, we'll be done tomorrow before noon, so you'll have the entire rest of the day to yourselves."

**X X X **

"Are you even the tiniest bit sleepy?" Santana asked.

"Not remotely," Rachel replied.

"So how many times did you and Q..?"

"Not answering that," Rachel cut her off, "I don't know what you were about to ask for sure, but I am certain that I will not answer it."

"Aww, but come on," Santana said.

"I'll say this and then we're finding a new subject," Rachel said firmly, "I finally get what the big deal is about sex. I didn't before."

"Lame," Santana said, "Okay, so what do you want to talk about?"

"How exactly did we become friends?" Rachel asked, "Not that I'm complaining mind you, just curious."

"I dunno," Santana said, "I mean, for me it wasn't any one thing, I don't think. It kind of started with West Side Story. We spent weeks pretending to be best friends so some of it rubbed off. Then there was the whole drama of being outed. You were there when that creepy Josh fuck was getting all up in my business."

"We all were," Rachel said.

"Yeah, but, y'know, Britt was there cuz she was my girlfriend. Q was there cuz she's one of my closest friends. Cedes and me had bonded over Troubletones stuff. Sugar like hero worships me. Tina is big time homeys with Britt, so me and her are friends by association. You were the only one there that I'd never given a reason to stick up for me and every reason not to. After that I guess I kinda took a step back from things and looked at some facts. Brittany likes you when you aren't being controlling, self-centered, and crazy which you haven't done for a while and Quinn's fucking in love with you. They're pretty much the two smartest people I know, so I figured maybe there was something to it and I should give you a second chance. After being in the Troubletones and having an outlet to let me deal with the frustration of being constantly overshadowed by you, I guess I could see that you can be kind of cool if given a chance to calm down."

"So do you consider us friends, then?" Rachel asked.

"Y'know, Berry, generally speaking that's a question you might have thought to ask before inviting me to live with you in a couple of months," Santana said, "Speaking of which, have you and Q talked about this?"

"About you moving in with me? Yes," Rachel replied.

"And she's cool with it?"

"Yes," Rachel confirmed, "she understands that a) you're far too whipped to ever step out on Brittany and b) even if you did, you're not my type."

"Bitch, I'm everybody's type," Santana retorted.

"But you don't deny being whipped?"

**X X X**

"Okay, _now_ I'm nervous," Rachel said. It was ten minutes before show time. Ten minutes before the last time the original New Directions were going to perform together… possibly ever.

Quinn took Rachel's hand in hers, "Rach, baby, it's okay to be nervous but you really shouldn't be. We are so ready for this." Rachel beamed at her brightly. "What?"

"You called me baby," Rachel said, "You've never done that before. I like it."

Santana huffed and rolled her eyes, "Gag me."

"San, be nice," Brittany said.

"You gots this, Berry," Santana said.

"You so do," Brittany agree.

"You're going to be amazing," Quinn said.

"_We_ are going to be amazing," Rachel corrected.

**X X X**

"_I think we should do another featured dance number," Rachel said, "We need to distinguish ourselves from all the competition and I think in honor of Quinn's recovery, she, Santana, and Brittany should take center stage at Nationals. One last ride for The Unholy Trinity, so to speak."_

"_Okay, firstly, Berry" Santana said, "The end of high school isn't the end of The Unholy Trinity. If there were a million miles between us, we'd still be besties for life and we'd still find our way back to each other." Santana pulled something out of her bag and started unfolding it. "That ain't gonna happen though because this bitch just got a little piece of paper that says I'm going to fucking Columbia!" There was a round of cheers from the whole room. "And secondly, we'll burn that damn stage up."_

"_We'll dance lead," Brittany said, "But everyone should be involved, New Directions and The Troubletones."_

"_With our star performer singing lead," Quinn said looking at Rachel, "We'll beat Vocal Adrenaline at their own game."_

_Rachel smiled, "Which song?"_

_Kurt was the first one to speak up, "Gaga."_

**X X X**

"Go be a star… baby," Quinn whispered.

Rachel walked out to stand center stage and a moment later the curtain drew back. When it was done, she sang, "I'm gonna marry the night." The rest of the club began to file in as quietly as possible from both sides of the stage. "I won't give up on my life. I'm a warrior queen. Live passionately tonight." The group made their way to their places and began the slow sway of the early choreography. Rachel walked up to the edge of the stage and continued, "I'm gonna marry the dark. Gonna make love to the stark. I'm a soldier to my own emptiness. I am a winner."

Rachel walked backwards as Santana, Brittany, and Quinn moved up to meet her. "I'm gonna marry the night. I'm gonna marry the night. I'm gonna marry the night." The beat kicked up and the group followed the tempo. Their routine was elaborate, but well rehearsed and the audience started applauding wildly. In that moment, Rachel had no need of her stage smile since it couldn't have been as bright as the sincere one on her face. She knew they were going to win. "I'M GONNA MARRY… THE NIGHT!" she belted out.

**X X X **

"I love you like this," Quinn said lying on their bed watching Rachel half dressed dancing giddily around the room, "I mean, I love you always, but especially when you're like this. Did you get into the coffee while I was out?"

"You think I needed any more stimulation?" Rachel asked, "We won Nationals, we had possibly the best vegan pizza ever for lunch, and then I put you into a sex coma. How could coffee top that?"

"We haven't won Nationals yet," Quinn said.

"Yes we have," Rachel countered, "They just haven't announced it yet."

"You seem pretty sure for someone who didn't watch any of the other finalists."

"I am sure," Rachel replied flinging herself down on the bed next to her still naked girlfriend, Quinn Fabray (those words weren't getting old anytime soon), "I have a sixth sense, remember?"

"I thought you said your sixth sense was always about me," Quinn said.

"It is," Rachel said, "This is how we're beginning our lives together, by winning Nationals. Finn and I began our lives together by losing Regionals sophomore year and we began our lives together anew by losing Nationals last year. This is going to be a sign of how we're different. We begin our relationship with a personal success story and follow it with and amazing summer, then four years of Skype dates and two hour bus rides and Christmukkahs in New York and I know that it won't be easy. There will be times that the distance is going to feel like it's killing us, but we're strong, strong enough to weather anything. After college, I see us moving in together and decorating our first place just the way we want it and dogs and marriage and eventually children. I know we haven't talked about any of these things really, but I think you know me well enough to know that I want all of that."

"I do," Quinn said finally managing to get a word in, "and I want them too, though maybe a cat or two to go along with the dogs."

"I would be agreeable to that," Rachel replied, "And for the record, you're going to have to be the one to propose, because after the whole debacle with Finn I'm always going to be worried that I'm rushing things, but I know that you will think everything through and won't ask until you are certain that we're both ready. Rest assured however that when you do… when you do ask, I'm going to say yes."

Quinn smiled. "Good to know," she said, "Are you sure you didn't get into the coffee?"

"I might have," Rachel said, "but it's our last night in Miami and I want to go and enjoy it with you."

"I'd be agreeable to that too."

**X X X**

"Ladies and gentlemen, your 2012 National Show Choir Champions… New Directions!"

**A/N: Big thanks to everyone who read/favorited/alerted. Special thanks to all that reviewed, especially those that reviewed every time. **

**Writing this has starting giving me ideas about a spin-off story about those left behind, Blaine, Artie, Tina, etc. but I'm a long way from actually writing it.**


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